Yep, however, having been through this (then having worked with women having gone through sexual harrassment - real sexual harrassment), an equal job is often found which will make you wish you’d found a different job. The company I worked for didn’t appear to like having me around much more than they wanted him around - he got walked, I just got bad subjective reviews, given to bad bosses, and had unreasonable expectations put on me until I quit - but only AFTER they’d fired him so any suit I filed they could say “we don’t know what her problem is, we fired him.”
Its worse than that - he’s put his company in a position of vulnerability to someone who may or may not choose to take advantage of it. If he wants to walk alone in a bad neighborhood - that’s his business - from the company’s perspective he did it carrying $1,000,000 of their cash.
If it’s cunning then that makes her a… ???
Two-cents worth? You were wrong to fuck the married boss, he was wrong to fuck you. You say it’s over so let it be over. Any support you give him during this time would draw you back into his life, he’s going to be hurt and looking for comfort. Find a new job in a new department and separate yourself.
Meanwhile, hang your head in shame for breaking up a family. Yes, he did it too but you were complicit. Look at his children and think of them having to listen to their parents fight about the pain you helped to bring to their lives. Know that you were likely just a fling, a younger woman to play with, and a man who cheats once will probably cheat again. You were just a way to demonstrate his manliness to his golfing buddies and allow him to swing his dick in public.
If you’re anticipating the rewards of being with the boss and using his income and influence, know that you’ll pay for this by feeling you have to always look over his shoulder, afraid that he’ll be cheating on you next like he did on his wife.
Yes, I’m going through a divorce, yes my wife tried to cheat on me. I have never cheated on my wife and have no respect for cheaters. I also have no respect for those that knowingly have had affairs with married people.
Your outrage over your boyfriend’s computer habits in your other thread is marvelously ironic.
Of course. Things don’t play out cleanly in real life. But the law doesn’t condone moving the subordinate to an inferior job. If you had infinite resources to devote to proving the bad reviews and unreasonable expectations were retaliatory, those would also have been damages. In fact, many companies win the original harassment lawsuit (not enough evidence, no damages, blah blah) but lose when they are found to have retaliated against the employee for filing a claim.
When I kept my original advice to the OP brief “schedule him appts w/ a therapist,” that was because, although the best thing she could do *for him * would be to go quietly, she doesn’t owe it to him to take the financial hit for changing jobs. I think what you propose, sticking around and doing a professional job, with no personal relationship, is a reasonable course of action.
I hope the OP just learns her lesson. I fucked my married boss when I was about 21. It was a total disaster. His wife found out, then everybody else found out. I ended up leaving the company and he was fired shortly thereafter. I have never looked twice at a married man again. Not only is it not worth it, it’s morally wrong. Those children will suffer even more in the future than their parents are suffering now.
In terms of the sexual harrassment thing, I’m going to sign a liability waiver relieving him of any responsibility for a sexual relationship. I’m not out to con anyone, and he told me that if I had to leave the company, we’d work out a deal where I would resign, and get compensated, and he’d give me a great recommendation for another job. This works out fine for me.
Here’s the thing: I’m lonely, and his wife was cheating on him before I was ever in the picture. The wife is hardly a victim. He’s not a victim, and I’m not a victim. I love these one-sided assumptions, the immediate jump to “he’s a sleazebag, and you’re a slut”. Good people get caught up, okay, maybe he was flattered that, after his wife is fooling around and humiliating him, some smart young girl thinks he’s the cat’s meow. Maybe I feel the same way in reverse. You people are vicious.
Get this part in writing. :dubious:
Get this part in writing. :dubious:
He doesn’t have authority to compensate you with the company’s money.
Unless this is a sole proprietorship. This doesn’t pass the sniff test.
I’m not sure you CAN sign away your rights here. You certainly can’t sign away the rights of anyone else who may sue over you getting preferential treatment due to a sexual relationship. If this is the direction this is even thinking of going, this is where I stop thinking he’s lucky you haven’t hired a lawyer and start saying “honey, hire a lawyer.”
I agree. Don’t sign anything without a lawyer’s advice. If you aren’t out to con anyone, then you aren’t out to con anyone…he’s going to have to trust you on that one, IMO.
Come to think of it, even if it is a sole proprietorship, its likely tied up in the divorce (or potential divorce). I’m going back to Harriet’s, “he doesn’t have the authority to compensate you with the company’s money.”
I’m suspecting this guy continues to play you like a cheap deck of cards. And by believing he needs your “support” right now, you are just showing how easily you are being played. Either that, or he’s stupid (which I suspect he is as well having gotten himself into a situation where he was attracted to the women he hired to help him, in part, communicate with his own wife, then slept with her. This is a classic “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” move.)
Oh, and honey, they know - they are just trying to get you to dish.
Not vicious, pragmatic. You may be smart about some things, but clearly, men isn’t one of them. Trust me, if *he * thought you were all that smart, he’d have found someone else to fuck.
A guy who cheats on his wife with his 24 year old whatever the hell it is you allegedly do there isn’t “good people”.
That attitude is bullshit.
You keep doing things of questionable morality and posting them here. Did you happen to miss the multiple, 12 page trainwrecks about RSSchen/MizGrand doing bad things, and the responses she got here? Did you somehow think we would receive your bad things better?
Man, if I ever have an affair with a married man and wreck a family and make his poor kids and wife suffer emotional devastation, and put the company that we both work for in jeopardy of being sued by multiple litigators, I am SO not telling you people.
You’re so mean. 
Get a dog.
Interesting how that new wrinkle gets added to the story just when the heat in the thread gets turned up. See the Pit thread for more on this trend.
I can’t say if you’re a good person or not, but adultery is not a good thing to do, and it doesn’t count as points towards being a good person, in the overall scheme of things.
A smart young girl, eh? Cite?
I know I’ve tried to explain this to you before, but if you post on the SDMB for people’s opinions, and you get ones you don’t like, don’t call people vicious. This is what we think of how you should “support” your boss through his divorce. You asked. We’ve been over this before in previous thread of yours that have gone down in a similar way. Do not anticipate approval or hand holding when you confess that you’ve helped break up a marriage and are still emotionally involved, though non-sexually, with the man in question. Really, what do you expect people to say? It’s so great you’re supporting your ex-lover/boss in his divorce you helped cause? Come ON, if you’re as smart as you say you are you couldn’t possibly think it’d go down like that.
Run like hell. Don’t sign any papers. Learn something from this. This as nice as I can be about this.
Don’t sign anything.