… when the “someone” is your brother?
This is going to be long, rambly, and stream-of-conciousness, so I pre-apologize for any lack of coherency. Please feel free to ask for clarification if necessary.
Backstory: Many years ago, my husband decided that it would be a great idea to take a long-weekend mini-vacation with our friends after Christmas and the New Year. We looked up a rental cabin company that was available, pitched the idea, and went for it. It was an amazing success, and has carried on for almost ten years now. We’ve had as many as 12 people down to just four of us in cabins. The attendees have changed over the years based on finances and divorces and what-not, but there’s always been the feeling of this weekend as a relief and release from the daily stresses of life with people you like, lots of food, lots of booze, games, TV, movies, music, and the hot tub (we will not rent a cabin without one!).
Last year we found the BEST cabin - it was designed as a B&B so each room had a real bed in it (king or queen - no bunks, twins, or doubles) and there were six FULL bathrooms, which was just heavenly. No waiting for showers! The twelve attendees were:
Me and Hubby
Mike and Tina (Tina’s been on every trip as well)
George and Marie (she’s my BFF)
Pat and Lynn (newer friends, first time cabintrippers)
Aaron and Tracy (my brother and his long-term GF)
Tom and Ann (been on a few trips)
Some of these people had never met before, but we’d never had any issues bringing new people into the mix. But my brother must have been in rare form. To make a long story short, he was an asshole. He pretty much always is, and I’m used to it, so it doesn’t bother me. However he pissed off Pat and Lynn so much they almost left, and Mike and George left him alone because he brought a frikkin’ handgun with him (and when he gets drunk he gets stupid and belligerent - not a good combination).
Now it’s time to plan the next trip. We’ve got a weekend picked and a cabin selected (but not reserved - gotta see if another one has a pool table) and I’ve got a big fat dilemma: Mike & Tina, George & Marie, and Pat & Lynn have told me that they will not go if my brother’s there. Flat-out. I understand completely. Can’t blame 'em one bit. But he’s already pestering me about the final details. (Frankly, he’s trying to tell me what cabin I should pick and second-guessing why I’m not going with this other one and basically trying to take it over and make it HIS cabin trip, which is just like him.) AND he just pink-slipped … on our dead brother’s birthday, no less.
So how would you handle this?? Marie has volunteered to talk to him, but I know if she does, he’s going to call me up 1.9 nanoseconds after he hangs up on her and go off on ME about what a crazy psycho bitch of a friend I have and who is SHE to tell HIM whether or not he can go … So I’m going to have to deal with his attitude one way or another. It’s a no-win situation for me, but there’s no way in hell I’m choosing him and Tracey over every one else. And SHE’S the real loser in all this … everyone loved her, and would have her back without him.