I didn’t know there were so many creepy Dopers, and this group doesn’t even include me!
Don’t worry. I sent all three responses.
Whew!
I’ll be brave too. 22, attending school in Columbia, Missouri. Majoring in biology and chemistry. Pasttime includes trying to fit in a less cultured community, despite my horrible awkwardness, raging alcoholism, and fervent work ethic. As of yesterday, I went on my first hayride.
38, 6’1", 230 and dropping. Burlington, Ontario, which is a suburb of Toronto. I have a five-year-old daughter. I like baseball, but if you’ve been around the boards a bit, you probably knew that already.
Bayesian, please let us know what gender you are! Your Doper soulmate could be waiting with baited breath. 
I’ll throw my hat into the ring. I’m female, 25, living in NYC but a native of the Deep South, as my username suggests. I enjoy heavy metal, history, gothic literature, comic books, bellydancing, activism, hanging out with hippies, studying French, poetry, weird movies, volunteering, and I’m slowly but surely becoming crafty. I haven’t watched television regularly since 2005 and I’m deeply against celebrity-obsessed, shallow media culture. I’m an atheist. I keep myself in good shape.
My favorite authors include Stephen Crane and Truman Capote. My favorite bands include Emilie Autumn, Danzig, Pantera, Dr. Steele, Type O Negative, Genitorturers, Virgin Black, Voltaire, and Die Warzau. I’m not into sports. I’m Straight Edge, which means I don’t do alcohol, drugs, or meaningless sex.
MBTI-wise, I’m an INTP.
Not looking for:
– Anyone married or in a relationship.
– Polyamorous people.
– Anyone not semi-local (ie within NY).
– Messages about what you’d like to do to me sexually.
YOU! You’re gonna make some New Yorker real lucky 
Yes, I meant single, as in not married. 
Got it! I forgot a lot of stuff when I wrote my info, so here goes. I’m 22, male, and Very Asian. In my free-time, if such a thing exists, I’ve picking up salsa dancing. I can play the Irish fiddle, like most Asian children. Currently I’m not reading anything interesting, other than Ten Years Later by Alex Dumas. Music taste is very eclectic, I like a mix between pop/ alternative/ and country (don’t ask about the last one). If you ran into me in the streets, most likely, I will have a southern twang, and even more likely wearing a belt buckle. However, if the words, “is that a fleur-de-lis on your buckle?” rather than “why the hell do you have a belt buckle?” I will love you forever.
The current song playing on my computer is “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.” Don’t judge.
Maybe we should bring this one back. I’d guess some of us are still looking, and are willing to update things.
Hello! My name is Spoons. I am a single male.
I live in a small city in the Canadian province of Alberta, where I am a lawyer in private practice. I have a small practice, but one that is quite satisfying. For the most part, it is criminal practice, though I do have a few clients whose matters involve family and employment law.
I have lived in larger cities; most notably, Toronto, Calgary, and Edmonton. I will admit that Toronto is my home town, and I feel very much at home in that big city. But I do enjoy this smaller city, though so far, city council has not yet agreed with me that we really need a subway under Third Avenue. 
My hobbies include music (listening to it live and playing it, though I’ll admit that the playing has not been occurring as much as it should lately), New York Times Sunday crosswords, and participating in community theatre. At other times, trivia games, golf, and my bike occupy my time. I also like heading up into the nearby Rockies for the day, and walking the trails and things.
I’d be happy to provide a link to a photo in a PM. Anyway, if I sound like somebody you’d like to know better, you can PM me through the SDMB.
I would enjoy a sober funny man in my life. One that likes to travel.
I live in Hawaii, I volunteer for an art organization. I am settled, meaning I own my own place and can take care of myself. I am 55. I am not looking for a husband. But would enjoy some company at times either at home or traveling.
I’m now 45 and still single, still poor, but now employed in Aberdeen and modestly prospering. I have found that while I adore cats, I’m now sensitive to cat dander - it makes my eyes and nose stream.
Still seeking designated driver.
I’ll be there in approximately 14 hours and 33 minutes, according to Google Maps.
I don’t drink; my car seats two. I think this was meant to be baby.
Sure, but when we arrive at the bar, you may NOT pick a fight with anyone in the parking lot.
Unfortunately that eliminates most of the board. I think the average cat-to-owner ratio among dopers has got to be 20:1 or so.
I’ll only be a busybody when I’m solo, hun. I’m nothing if not considerate.
Oh man, I missed **maeglin’**s reply to me when this was posted 2 years ago. Hahahaha!
All right, Leafy, time to step up your game. If you’re both driving, I’m pretty sure Ambi can be here before you can.
I really do need a designated driver. I spend so much f-ing money on cabs…