Hulk Hogan Vs. Metallica

A local radio DJ who happens to be very good friends with wrestler Hulk Hogan announced today that Hulk was in ‘negotation’ with Metallica to be their touring bassist for a bit! What do you guys think? As if Metallica wasn’t a joke already…

I wonder if their decision process went something like this;
“Hey, let’s ask Hulk Hogan to play bass for us since Emmanuel Lewis isn’t available!”

So… who still has respect for Metallica?

Metallica has gone the way of the Misfits.
How sad.

Funny I don’t remember Andre the Giant replacing Danzig… :slight_smile:

It’s wasn’t Andre, it was the Iron Sheik. He tried to kick Danzig’s ass and took the mic and starting singing in a bad middle eastern accent “Mommy, can I go out to Tehran and kill tonight?”

But then Glenn recovered and kicked his ass righteously.
Oh, the OP? Metallica sucks. And don’t knock Emmanuel Lewis on the bass. He studied under Mingus, you know.

What happened to Jason Newstead? Did he suddenly realize that Flotsam and Jetsam is now marginally cooler than Metallica?

Wait. Forget I asked. I really don’t care anymore.

Hm… Hogan does a piledriver, rendering them unable to speak?

Metallica fired him.

Apparently the found out he has Napster on his PC. :wink:

pez I’m giving you one day to publicly apologize to all the punks in FL - or I’m gonna tell everyone you started a thread about “who likes Metallica”.


Metallica can take a copy of Hogan’s movie “Mr. Nanny”, turn it sideways, and shove it up their monkey asses!

(but I totally, like, still respect them and all… you know I heard this interview where they said “yeah, we sell out… EVERY SHOW!” and I was like, ohmygawd that is sooo kewl so I got a Metallica poster in my room to piss off my mom because she said I couldn’t take the Saab to the mall and )


punk snot dead,

Metallica? I thought they stopped making albums after the black album? (Though the S&M CD is good)

BTW: broccoli! Don’t be dissin Mr. Nanny. That was a funny movie. That other movie he did was cool too, Suburban Commando. (I’m not even kidding here, I actually liked them)

o.k. c_goat make it Surf Ninja’s 3 or whatever flaming turd he did in the mid/late 90’s was.

punk snot dead

::blink, blink::

I just realized that one after I posted. Now THAT was a crappy movie.

A more serious look at the two:

Pro -
*Physically fit
*Nice tan
*Wrasslin’ voice
*Keeps the masses entertained

Con -
*Pro Wrestling & dumbing down of country
*Television and movie career
*Needs to shave his damn head already

Pro -
*Black album not just for metalheads
*Scare you little sister with visions of satan (?)
*Keeps the masses entertained

Con -
*Early stuff just for metalheads, late stuff for poseurs
*Mission Impossible: 2
*Scare yourself with visions of being a mid-life sellout washedup studio-monkey
*Fan base so huge the fans don’t know why they like the band anymore, they just mindlessly buy the albums and make the band think they’re still the shit
Q: Now what do we get when we combine the two?
A: Dogstar.
punk snot dead

WOW! I don’t know what to make of this. Your first statement certainly backs up your second. Metallica never stopped making albums. Just good ones. :smiley: And Mr Nanny? I don’t even know what to say. Now ROCKY! There was a Hulk Hogan performance!

Brocolli: Just the other night you were discussing how your singing style was greatly influenced by James Hetfield and how you actually stole your some of metallica guitar riffs. Why the change of heart? PS: Do you have garage days revisited? They cover misfits so Im not betraying my punk roots :wink:


[comic book guy voice]
BEST POST EVER! :slight_smile:
[/comic book guys voice]

whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa… Hold on a sec. What I said the other night was I can sound like him if I use a deeper voice. I never said I was influenced by him. I used to do “nothing else matters” at karaoke because I could win shit, but that’s different.

And just because they ripped off “last caress” doesn’t mean they’re punk. I do a cover of “we belong together” and it doesn’t mean I’m a 50’s greaser of spanish descent :smiley: :wink:

punk snot dead

BTW, thanks for the ‘best post ever’

LOL - now I remember the guitar riff thing you’re talking about. I must have misspoken. I have a ‘song’ (if you can call it that) that I call the “Evil Anthem” because it’s so pathetically 80’s metal it’s funny. But it’s hardly anything serious, it’s more like ‘Oh shit the bassist just popped his “E” and we need some filler!’ material.

punk snot dead

For anyone who’s worrying about this actually happening, I doubt it’s true. Bubba The Love Sponge (the DJ in question) has been known to repeat whatever line of BS Hogan feeds him on a regular basis, and this is probably just another bit of ego-stroking for the Hulkster.

However, if it does happen…well, take a look at this page to see what happens when Hogan decides to try his hand at music:

Scary, no?

And on an unrelated note…


Actually upon seeing that, I may become a metallica fan. I only wish they could get debbie gibson to sing a duet. I mean, why not? Circle Jerks did!