Humorous men's room experience

I’m at the mall the other day, and I go to the men’s room. I’m relieving myself at one of the urinals - which, at this mall, have an unusual amount of privacy, low extensions of the walls to block the view up and down the line, but still allow you to see the upper body of people.

I didn’t hear this other guy come in and, all of a sudden, from down the line, I hear him exclaim, “Well hi, Smiley!”

Knowing men’s room protocol prohibits establishing eye contact with other guys doing their business, I glance over. The guy’s two hands, obscured by the partition, appear to be down at his crotch, and he appears to be just beaming at his penis.

He catches my glance, and must have noticed my look of mild mortification, and his responding look appeared to almost be one of confusion - like, “What’s the problem?” I quickly looked away.

I finished what I was doing, and made my way down the line past him.

You guessed it. He was at a diaper-changing station, looking down at his baby.

Thank goodness.

<Chuckles> Thanks, Milo! I needed that this morning. Thank goodness is right! And, speaking as a mom, I’m ecstatic at the idea of diaper-changing stations in men’s rooms, and more so at them being used. :smiley:

and had just started some medication for a kidney infection. I felt the need to relieve myself (due to good German beer!) and wandered in to one of the public faclities. The urinal at this particular facility was a sparkling white porcelain wall that ran the width of the room. Not being a shy person I stepped up between a couple of elderly German gentlemen and let rip. HOLY SHIT! Why am I peeing flourescent orange?!?
I guess the medics neglected to tell me about the side effects of the medication. Scared me pretty good, and the guys next to me seemed a bit concerned as they side-stepped away in mid-flow!
later, Tom

A friend I worked with at my last company told me he was at the urinal one day, and the new CEO went up to use the urinal next to him. CEO says hello. Friend nervously turns toward CEO and says hello back…and pisses on CEO’s shoes. CEO never spoke to him again.

When I first read the story, my initial thought was “so the guy was pissing on the baby changing station?? That’s terrible!” Then I re-read, and it all became clear…

Spppllaat ‘n’ bwahahaha - Gilligan, that was really funny.

Mr Kiffa has a story he loves to tell about changing his first born son’s diaper in the Nairobi airport; where men would never be caught changing diapers ever and, of course, there’s no changing tables. Kid’s cranky as all get out and yelling/screaming to even embarrass his Mom. Mr Kiffa hears an announcement over the intercom for a security check in the men’s room - hum, are they thinking child abuse? Security guard enters and asks, in Swahili, is there a problem? Diaper is filthy, his little pimpim is acting like an out-of-control garden hose… Well…hehehe…I’ll be real happy when we join my wife who is delivering twins as we speak. Out of nowhere, hordes of Kenyan women come to help…humm, you help your wife out often?

This one time, I walk into the changing room at a swimming pool. Out of the corner of my eye, I see what appears to me to be a naked guy standing in the corner, his hand at his crotch is just a blur, and a large thatch of hair is moving about.

OK, so I don’t look directly at him (male changing room convention, not to mention pervert alarms going off inside my head) I just keeping walking, thinking “No f***ing way!” until the lockers obscure him from my view.

I then build up courage to move nonchalantly back and glance over, just to confirm that he was doing what I couldn’t possibly believe I thought he was doing…

He was drying his young son’s hair, who was standing directly in front of him.

I had gone to a meeting in a hotel some time ago. I had apparently drank way too much coffee but in my defense the meeting was exceedingly boring and I was having trouble staying awake.

So about midway through the meeting I find that I really have to take a leak so I excuse myself and head for the washrooms. There was a large group of women congregated around one of the washroom doors so I entered the other one.
I noticed that the stalls were all taken and as I looked around I wondered where the hell the urinals were. What kind of hotel was this where the men’s room has no urinals? I contemplated taking a leak in the sink (I was getting desperate).

Then I realized that a men’s room without urinals could only be the ladies room. I exited without having anyone leave the stalls and when I did leave the ladies room all these ladies were staring at me with amused grins. I had to ask some of them to move so that I could get into the men’s room and do what had to be done.

I am sure it was a conspiracy because when I left the washroom I saw another guy heading for the wrong door probably thinking what women wouldn’t be congregating in front of the men’s room.

I managed to save this poor guy from my fate but who knows how many men were victimized that afternoon?

I was on a long cross country trip and stopped off at a rest stop in central Indiana. I walked in, stepped up to the urinal and began “getting comfortable”. there were only two urinals, and the one next to me was occupied. I noticed a side-long glance from the other guy, but it was very short, so I didn’t think anything about it.

I finished up, and began washing my hands when I glanced up in the mirror and thought, the guy is almost done–he’s shaking it–quite vigorously–for the whole time I’m waching my hands–and drying them on one of those air driers. Then it clicks what’s going on. He turns, smiles, and doesn’t miss a “beat”. One of my grosser moments on the road