Argh, I need some advice here. I’ve been dating this girl for a couple of weeks now, and we recently started getting intimate. I knew her mom is theoretically disapproving, but I thought that was the extent of the problem – that she kinda didn’t like the thought of her daughter having a boyfriend, and probably shouldn’t know that we’d been making out. I also kinda figured that, given how we’ve acted, even in front of her, and how much time we’ve spent together (and that she knows we spent together), her mother would sort of catch on that we’re more than “just friends”.
Well no. Earlier yesterday, my girlfriends mother dropped me off at my house, and my girlfriend came with. I was really happy to introduce her mother to my parents to try to sow some goodwill. And then my girlfriend tells me “uh, please make sure they don’ tell my mom that we’re together”. And then I inquire as to why and she responds, “Because if my mother finds out, she’ll kick me out of the house!”
…
WHAT THE FUCK? :mad:
She’s 16, I’m 18, and this after I took her virginity. And I’m leaving the country in a month or two! So I really don’t know what to do. I really like this girl, but she apparently can’t come clean with her mother about us being together at all (apparently it would be a catastrophe if she even knew that we wanted to be more than friends, let alone that we’ve slept with each other!), and if her mother finds out, she is in serious trouble. I mean, I haven’t probed that too deeply (shortly after she told me this, she left for two weeks for summer camp), but I really need some advice on how to proceed. I don’t want to break her heart, but this situation seems borderline unworkable.
First off, you have no business playing grabass with a 16-year old. You doin’t list a location, but here in the States that’s usually called Statutory Rape. It is a crime. You can be arrested. You can go to prison. Second, you got involved in a sexual situation with an underage girl while knowing her mother was not going to happy about this.
You do not have a girlfriend problem. You dio not have a girlfriend’s mother problem. You have a judgement problem, and it needs to stop now. If you’re using her for meaningless sex and don’t really care, then by all means continue. If you do care about her, you can probably wait out the next couple of years without driving a permanent wedge between the girl and her mother.
Actually, in 30 states the age of consent is 16, and I think there may be additional “close-in-age exceptions” for of-age teens with not-quite-of-age teens in other states.
However, the “theoretically didn’t like the thought of her daughter having a boyfriend” part is a red flag. Even if it didn’t mean “and will throw her daughter’s ass out on the street if she does have a BF”, that should be interpreted as meaning “and she will come after my balls with a kitchen knife if she finds out I’m fucking her daughter.” So, yeah.
Oh FFS. There’s an age difference of a couple of years. He’s not some 30 year old skeeving around the local high school.
I agree it was good to point out the potential legality problems, smiling bandit, since if they are in a state where 16/18 can be statutory rape, he has to tread FAR more carefully with the mom. But fuckin A, the rest of your post makes him sound like some immoral deviant.
Given their ages, he likely just graduated high school and she just finished her sophomore year. Oh man, a high school senior and high school sophomore Having Relations. Someone better call Chris Hansen. :rolleyes:
Right! Jesus Fucking Christ, they’re both two kids as far as I’m concerned. Honestly, when I read the OP I thought, “What is this? A bunch of goddamn teenagers?” Turns out it is, then I thought nothing else of it.
Ha, that’s pretty much what I figured. He also had this thread. I must say, I think it’s much more appropriate for him to be dating a 16-year-old than a 48-year-old!
Eh, I dont think it’s so bad for a teen boy to date older women. At least you don’t have to worry about what a 48 year old’s mom is gonna think (or about accidental pregnancy, probably).
I don’t see a problem. HE’s leaving the country, so already was not making this a long term thing anyhoo. Presumably SHE knows he’s leaving the country, wanted to go forward anyway, no problem there. If his relations cause problems for her then he gets to carry the guilt of whatever happens and maybe that will inform later relationship decisions.
FWIW, I was a senior in high school at 16, and that’s when I lost my virginity, too. Not too young. And the 18-16 thing isn’t a legal problem except in a few circumstances, which the OP either knows or doesn’t know about. And…that is HIS problem.
I have problems too. My boyfriend is too rich and his cock is too big. I’m thinking I should bring this up with my priest during confession, but am afraid to because he’ll tell me fornicating is a sin. What should I do?
