Hypothetical: Who are you, again?

Either Real Estate Novelist or The Pompatus of Like.

Either Tad Cooper, or The Fake McCoy.

Or I’d stick with the Demon Princes theme and go by Alusz Iphigenia Eperje-Tokay.

If I were female my backup name would be inspired by a freeway sign near Mobile that told me that it was the exit to

DAPHNE
FAIRHOPE

I think, in a thread a couple years ago,

Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk

was mentioned as a hypothetical possibility.

(The context then was names that one-shot drive-by spammers might use.)

Or names that would get you shot by the Moderators.

The Grounds at Pemberley

All of Jane Austen is vaguely comedic, I’m told, but I took it very seriously. The only joke I got was the only real joke broad enough for me to get:

*"Will you tell me how long you have loved him?’’

"It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley.’’

Another intreaty that she would be serious, however, produced the desired effect; and she soon satisfied Jane by her solemn assurances of attachment.*

I’d be Doxie.

A trophy guy

Gonzo P. Freedclean

Long story.

Captain Jetpack

That Guy

Bobbie Wickham

Rank and Filer

Target

Marshall Jim Duncan

My new name is Surely.

You don’t think I’m serious?

I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley!

Trump Tower Wiretapper

then I’d get sick of it after a couple of days, and get it changed to InkyAndClyde.

Sarcasmo The Magnificent

That Damn First Name

The Spoiler

Comic Book Pending

Regulatory Enforcement Bureau

Your Ad Here

But Wait Theres More

Cheap Affordable LASIK

Go with Czarcasm-. The rules only state that it can’t be a variant on your old name.

Hmmm
First choices would be,
**A. Hornymousse Johnson

Sparkly Tree Topper

Three Trees Jones
**

Second choices
**Darth Ursus Theodorus

A Thane Called Ted

Frank**

I’ve taken the liberty of giving myself several primary and secondary choices, just in case.