Best of luck, HMSI. Hope you make the best choices you can.
I think any reputable therapist would recommend a period of abstinence until he can begin to sort out how much of that despair is actually the very predictable effect of frequent binge drinking. There are ways of treating dual diagnoses, but none of them suggest going right ahead with the drinking while you are sorting out your other issues.
Speaking from experience, drinking can most definitely relieve you of work and family responsibilities.
Perhaps it would be a good idea for HMS Irruncible to actually check himself into a rehab center?
He doesn’t need a rehab center for two nights a week of drinking a fifth of rum. He is not physically addicted to alcohol. He does need a therapist though, in my opinion.
It is a good idea and I wish I could. Taking that step would basically be going public as an alcoholic to friends, neighbors, work, etc. I’m not ready to face that. Not saying that’s a good reason, it’s just the one I have.
IDK what your level of, alcoholism, for lack of a better word is.
If you are committed to total sobriety a 28 day program can help you. But they will want complete sobriety, not, controlled recreational drinking.
If you do decide to go to a 28 day program or to the 12 steps, however, I think it is largely inaccurate to say that people should not find out. I think you will find that if you are trying to solve your problem people will be helpful and supportive. But, not if you don’t commit to a program. If you admit you are a problem drinker and keep drinking they wont like that. But if you seek help they will support you.
So you need to decide what level of commitment you have,
I’ll give you a hint, most of the suspect that SOMETHING is wrong. And most of them have gone through this with someone else at some point in time - an alcoholic sibling or uncle or parent or friend. And the decent ones will admire you for getting help - they’ll have a clue how hard it is to even ask for help. They will go out of their way to be supportive. The ones that aren’t decent, screw 'em.
(ETA: The exception will likely be drinking buddies - if you have a problem, they might have a problem - and you solving your problem can seem judgmental to them when they aren’t ready to admit their problem. Be understanding, but you’ll discover they are your drinking buddies - you will need distance from them for a while anyway.)
Sure, it’s possible. Just doesn’t seem at all likely.
Obviously I know it’s not the case for everyone.:rolleyes:
Everyone isn’t posting on this thread.
It’s not like we recruit non-alcoholics to increase our numbers. If heavy drinkers can sustain moderate drinking, more power to them.
Whoa, watch it with the medical advice. You can’t possibly know this.
I have decided to stop ruminating and just quit drinking. I am never going to find a way to drink just a little bit. I am not going to find the One True Reason for this behavior. I am choosing to stop. I will keep at AA until I find one that fits and keep doing it until I succeed.
Though I’ve been saying “I really should stop”, it really meant “I’ll cut back to a reasonable level if it’s not too difficult.” I wasn’t really committing to sobriety or admitting the severity of the problem. I wasn’t even bothering to find out what ‘difficult’ means. So, I’m committing to doing those things.
I realize people often say this and then relapse. If it happens I’ll start over but I am not going into this with a defeatist mentality.
Thanks all for your support and advice. I’ll continue to update but for now I feel a little “talked out.”
I’ll be rooting for you!
Best of luck. Try telling your story at the next meeting, if you can work yourself up to it, and let people talk to you afterward. There are no strings–it’s always there if you want it.
Thanks very much. But it’s not the same song. I sense that it is indeed a very depressing.
But I’ve always assumed the version by Brad Paisley is tongue in cheek because I have some of his other songs and one in particular is called Celebrity and that is definitely meant to poke fun at modern celebrities.
Please take a listen and I think you'll see what I mean. This is one of my favorite songs. Not only because of the music and lyrics, but also because it's so funny.I think you will enjoy it.
IME (been there) AA is a well-promoted fraud.
It is, at core, a Christian “Find God and He will give you strength” mindset.
Yes, they now back off and allow non-Judeo-Christian “Higher Power” gods to substitute.
The recurring number 12 (questions, steps, et. al.) is a reference to the 12 Disciples of Christian mythology.
Short Form: If you don’t have a god, AA is not where you belong.
And: to the “go ahead and announce to the world, everybody who matters will be supportive” group: BULLSHIT.
There are many areas - social, political, industrial (Law and Accounting come to mind instantly) wherein such an admission is absolutely suicidal. You just don’t do it and retain your standing in the group.
Look, I agree with you, thats why I left the 12 steps.
But, if you can find some way to ignore the god/religious parts its not so bad.
You should at least give it a try. The talk of god is a very big part of it but beyond that it is a big social club and will give you lots of support.
You might look into SMART Recovery if the god nonsense of 12-step groups is getting you down. Or even if it isn’t. It is based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which is what nearly any decent psychologist you might go to would have you doing.
I know I already posted this, but since we’re talking in more depth about AA and its alternatives, I really recommend this article in The Atlantic discussing how alcoholism is treated i other countries (specifically Finland) medically. The medications naltrexone and nalmefene reduce or stop the craving for alcohol. It also mentions acamprosate, varenicline, topirimate, and baclofen. (The older drug Antabuse makes drinkers nauseous.) The article says
The article also mentions Contral Clinics, which are in Finland, but their web site says that they can treat you remotely with two visits to the clinic and the rest done online during a period of 4 to 6 months.
Le Sigh.
The NIHdisagrees with you.
And looky here, hereis another one:
I can, and have, cited more research on A.A. on this board many, many times. The short answer is that A.A. and therapy have the highest success rate follow by A.A. alone.
If you don’t like A.A, fine. But stop spewing ignorant crap.
Oh, for the record, I am an atheist.
Slee
AA is fine - for those with the requisite theological framework.
The problem is that simply everyone is advised to use AA - even those for whom is is not a match.
When Judges start requiring attendance, it becomes a problem.
It is NOT a “magic bullet” that works for everyone.
I am a simple, quiet atheist - I don’t push my ideas and expect the same consideration of others.
Neither I nor the AA would be well served by my appearance.
My position is simply: If AA does not work for you, it may be completely counter-productive to keep looking at more and more AA groups.