AA is not a treatment or a cure. It’s a support system for people with a sincere desire to stop drinking. Do you have that desire, or can you see it in your future?
Well, there is a dichotomy here. I recognize that drinking is a harmful habit and likely to kill me at some point. Yet I find there is also great pleasure and comfort in it. You tell me what you’d do with this information.
I could be at an AA meeting in an hour, except I’m drunk. Would they reject me or not? Assume transportation is not an isssue.
In my meetings, nobody would be rejected because they were drunk. As I told HMSI, if he were to be visibly drunk, a couple of guys would probably chat with himself outside the meeting hall.
What do other AA folks think?
Yep, every other alcoholic thinks this too. Imagine yourself in an abusive relationship. There’s stuff you just love, love, love about your partner. But every few days, maybe twice a week, she beats the shit out of you.
My experience is that, unless the drunk goes nuts*, usually people will seek the person out after the meeting and talk to them. In fact, I am willing to bet that if you call your local A.A. group (google should turn up a number) you can probably find someone to drive you to the meeting.
In my experience, the folks in A.A. are extremely helpful to anyone who shows the desire to quit drinking.
Keep in mind that the reason the folks in A.A. are in A.A. is because they have been in the exact same place you are right now. They get it.
Slee
*In one meeting a guy came in who was absolutely obliterated. He sat down (well, fell into a chair) and just sorta mumbled for a while. About halfway through the meeting he started yelling and cussing about how A.A. was a bunch of bullshit and that the judge who sent him to A.A. was an ass.
The drunk was escorted out of the meeting by a couple guys. The drunk was a respectable looking guy who got kicked out by two bikers**. Kinda funny. Anyway, the drunk was offered assistance in getting somewhere where he could sober up. The drunk ended up leaving and then coming back a week or so later. Last time I saw the guy he had 5 or so years sober.
** A.A. is the only place I’ve ever been where your routinely see C.E.O types and bikers in deep conversations about stuff.
Yes! Where else can you hear about the inner lives of bikers, assuming you don’t run in those circles? Or felons? I swear, one guy I heard speak was a mobster. He didn’t say so outright, but the guy was connected.
This gruff old biker sits and crochets at meetings. It’s a sight to see.
I went tonight and overwhelmingly it was a bunch of college kids and hipsters. The speaker was like “oh, I liked to party too much and then I got into trouble and had to stop”. I appreciated the sentiment but it didn’t seem like anybody there had any clue about real adult concerns. Maybe I’m too new or I was in the wrong place.
Like: here are some adult concerns. Your job is tenuous. Your kids are about to become teenagers. Your parents are about to become senescent. Your grandparents are about to die. You have chronic pain that no doctor seems to be able or willing to solve. Your spouse is either oblivious or resentful to those concerns.
I have something in common with a college kid who just can’t stop partying, just not anything important.
My suspicion is that the place where you attended the meeting has other meetings with folks more like yourself. Ask someone. If not there, another place will.
And a rather rude thought: If the college kid achieves sobriety and the older person keeps drinking and destroying their life, who is the adult?
Wisdom can be found in many places. Don’t worry about the package, worry about the contents.
Slee
Fair enough. The only thing for it is to try again tomorrow. Though now I now see that I don’t really relate to people who don’t have children or haven’t seen the ravages of aging. These were all adorable cute pretty children, and I don’t deny whatever they have achieved, but it didn’t resonate with me. Also they smoked like a goddamn paper mill. It was disgusting.
I’m about to pass out. I would really like to talk to anybody. PM me and I’ll send you a number. Cheers.
Itching for a chat, anyone please hit me up.
Cute. I bet you got a good laugh out of it.
Good thing you think your funny. No one else thinks your funny.
I totally agree. And the only nitpick I would have here is that “your” should be “you’re”. I wouldn’t have mentioned it except you said it twice. And it is quite seriously true that I am not funny at all. There are millions of people in Africa who don’t have access to running water, millions of people in India who do not have clean water. So thank you for drawing attention to my shortcomings and I hope that you will be offering commensurate support to these people whose plight you have drawn attention to. Otherwise, go eat a great big goddamn bowl of dicks, you sanctimonious dickbucket.
As usual I’m the last one awake, for better or worse.
Considering I just told you here that you were on thin ice and you chose to ignore it, your stay here is over.
This is a warning for you, don’t call other members names, even if they make you mad or try to bait you or call you names first. Use the Pit.
Yeah, you need a meeting where at least some of the people share these concerns, or concerns like them. Did you find the Central Service for your area? If you did, you can call and say you’d like a visit from an AA member near you. Ask for someone who knows a lot about the meetings in your area. That person will come to your house to talk. I’m not totally sure that all Central Services do this, but someone else can weigh in.
You’re doing great. And once you find a better meeting and get some phone numbers, you’ll have some people to talk with on the phone. Some of them won’t mind a call in the middle of the night–but do ask.
Sorry about that. And sorry to the banned dude! I just get drunk and have to say the DB word sometimes. I’ll try to restrain myself.