Fuck you, your supposed to be my best friend. Just because I can’t stand your girlfriend doesn’t mean you can blow me off. I have never talked shit to her, even thought she talked shit about me and my wife. I have never done anything to discourage your relationship with her. If you are happy with her, then fine, good for you. When I found out she was pregnant with your kid, I was happy for you. Sure I was worried, because she has a history of having kids and then leaving the guy, but I never said shit about it to you or anyone else. Even though she has 4 other kids, I offered to give you anything I could from my daughters old stuff you may have needed. Even though it was hard to get together because our spouses hate eachother, I tried to get together for coffee or a beer when we had the chance. You have no fucking reason to treat me like shit. You had a welcome baby/baby shower Sunday. I’m sure you didn’t think I would figure out SHE didn’t want me to go. You said it wasn’t a party, just some people came over. Your a fucking liar. I saw the invitations. I looked in my mailbox every day for a week for mine, like a fucking 5 year old. I didn’t get one. The old guy who used to work with us, and his mail order bride? They got one. People at work who you barely know, they got ones. Freinds of yours that SHE likes got them, and you even called them to make sure they would be there. You made sure to invite all your fair-weather freinds. You made sure to call them when SHE had the baby. You made sure to call your old job and tell them about the baby. You made sure to call everyone for everything, and went out of your way for it all, except for me. Well fuck you. I hope you realize by ignoring me, and blowing me off and treating me like shit, you have lost your best freind. You’ve thrown away 20 years of friendship over a fucking tramp. Good for you, you can hang out with all her other kids dads at the cookouts. When she decides to move on and start fucking half the town again, don’t expect me to be there for you. When she kicks your ass out so some other guy can move in and takes all your money, don’t come to me.
I’m sorry man. I’ve seen this thing happen so many times in so many similar ways.
People like this often suffer from extremely low self-esteem, and an incredible fear of sexual inadequacy and deep, pathological loneliness with a firmly-rooted abandonment complex. Or so they say.
He likely feels that this woman gives him the identity that he lacks, fulfills some of his physical needs, and keeps him from dying alone in a gutter somewhere. None of which is really true.
I think you are wise to just walk away…but note that he really may not be all himself at all. I would think carefully to see if he has redeeming qualities, such that when he comes back later on, you can determine whether to write him off or take him back as a friend.
Personally, I’ve never taken anyone back as a friend. I guess I get hurt too badly and hold grudges too hard. But YMMV.
Dude, please, lighten up a bit. I know it hurts when you think you are losing a friend but you are taking this WAY to personal. This has been played out so many times before it’s dumb. He hooks up with someone who appears to be interested in him, and in his wishes for happy ever after he has shut off all input from the people closest to him, including you. She, however, knows that you see through her bullshit and therefor you are the enemy. After a probably quite passionate session she tells him, “I don’t like your friend blur because, and then she makes up some reason and he buys it. A mind in love is an easy thing to manipulate. You notice all the invites got sent out to people who barely know them, that’s cause her true self isn’t known to them and she can use that.
She’ll probably trash him, given the history.
It sucks, but in a few years (maybe sooner, maybe longer) you and he will hook up when he’s going through the hateful divorce, and he’ll tell you how right you were. Don’t gloat, just lend a little support.
He’ll learn his lesson the hard way, as most of us do, and I know it hurts to watch someone you care about do something you feel is so completely wrong, but friends do let friends make their own choices.
With luck, some time in the future, you two will be kicking back reminiscing about way back when, when we were so stupid.
I thought the same thing about a friend who betrayed me, but even today- many years later (although we have bare minimal contact) If she were sick, I would help her. If she were in an accident, I’d be there. I can’t help still loving her any more then she could help loving the cheating jackass she married.
Sometimes love/lust/kids makes people do wacky shit. It can be very painful for the friend who gets ousted from the relationship, that’s for damned sure.
Take care, blur. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Zette
I watched my former best friend do this to her husband. He and his best friend Mike had been through West Point together. Went to the gulf together. Left the army at the same time, and relocated near each other. One got the other one a job where he was working. They were very tight, everything you think about when you hear about guy’s friendships that WORK.
But when my FBF met him (god help me, I introduced them), she started to drive a wedge between them. She was always able to take a perfectly normal situation and make it out to be further evidence of what a shitty friend and bad person Mike was. It was a constant disinformation campaign about Mike’s character. Mike saw what a controlling bitch she was, and while he kept his mouth shut it was obvious to all that he didn’t care for her. Why did my FBF’s husband put up with this? Well, I don’t think he could fathom that the woman he loved would do this maliciously. He just assumed she saw things clearer than he did. Or maybe he got sick of the conflict between them, so let the friendship slide.
Really, I don’t blame him. My FBF is a nutjob, and I don’t think that he, in love with her like he is, could believe that she could be so bad. She does all kinds of bizarro mind-fuck controlling things, and he just doesn’t realize that all marriages are not like this. All women are not like this. He thinks this is how it is, this is what happens when you get married.
Three years later, Mike lives 3000 miles away. He found and married someone who loathes my FBF as much as he does. They had no incentive to stay nearby. I don’t think they even exchange holiday cards anymore. And that is really and truly sad.
You’ve a right to be upset, but don’t give up on him. He didn’t betray you, she did. He just happens to be letting her lead him around by the dick right now. This relationship may not last, and then you’ll have your friend back. Maybe he’ll be wiser this time.
I think these women are the ones with the self esteem problems, not their boyfriends. They’re breaking up the friendship because they don’t want “their man” spending a lot of time with anyone but them. A lot of these women probably don’t trust their boyfriend/husband when he’s out with his friend either. It all comes back to low self esteem.
I’ve been in your friend’s shoes, believe me. My ex-husband (he was only my boyfriend at the time) couldn’t stand one of my friends that I’d known for years and spent lots of time with. He basically gave me the ultimatum to stop spending time with my friend or lose him. Unfortunately I chose to dump my friend and not my loser boyfriend. I still spoke to my friend and we saw each other occasionally but things weren’t the way they used to be. Once I got rid of my ex-husband I got my friend back. I apologized and said that I wouldn’t let another relationship come between our friendship and I’ve kept that promise. Luckily, my friend forgave me and continued to be friends with me.
I’ll never again let a man (or anyone for that matter) tell me who I can and can’t be friends with. If your friend ends up getting hurt by this woman… I think you should still be there for him. Let him know that he fucked up by treating you as badly as he did but make sure your still there for him! Don’t let this tramp ruin your 20+ year friendship.
Oh boy, that sucks. 
You know, even if all that stuff DOES happen, you will be there for him in a heart beat. You won’t say “I told you so” or gloat. You’ll just sit a listen and be a good friend because you will realize that it’s good to have him back. He will get drunk, apologize, rant, rave and cry…and you WILL be there for him. Trust me.
Take the high road. Sent a nice gift with a note welcoming the new addition. Let him know you still care about him and his precious child (even if the mother is a c***)…
Just don’t say it in THOSE words! 
After you’ve cooled off from this crappy treatment, you might want to consider talking to your friend about it. A friendship of over 20 years is worth a little discussion to try to keep it. If you approach your friend honestly and in a non-accusatory manner, you might find out that he didn’t intend to hurt you, and wasn’t aware of how things looked to you. Of course, you might find out that he truly is being led around by his dick, in which case you are fully justified in dropping the friendship until he wants to act like a friend again.
I can’t say I’ve ever been in the same situation, but I do have this story to offer:
I was told by my former college roomate (I roomed with him for a year and had to move out because I ran out of money) that he was planning on getting married. In the year I had roomed with him I became aquaintences with his circle of friends and we all got along ok, but I wasn’t close to them like he was.
Anyway, when he told me he was getting married, he told me he was considering making either myself or his friend Neil the best man. I know he and Neil were best friends in High School, but he had sort of gotten away from him in college. Neil was also known to be the jealous type. In fact, he had told Neil of his wedding plans, and Neil started assuming HE would be best man. I told my friend that I would just be happy to be there on his wedding day and that I did not care one bit whether or not I was best man.
He ended up having me be the best man, and Neil was in the wedding party.
My point is that I made it clear that I would be there for him no matter what he did. That action spoke much louder to him than Neil’s chattering and begging. Listen to what everyone else has said here. Let your friend know you will be there for him, no matter what. Let your actions speak for you. They will speak much louder to him than his wife’s bitching ever will.