I am not the Obama campaign

I am not directed by Ralph Bakshi either! although in fairness that one was pretty good

I don’t know.

How DID Spider-Man get Manhattan back in place, anyway?

I agree with you Cervaise, but…

I am not the OP!

I think he walloped his web-snappers. But I don’t know for certain. I am not Spider-Man.

That’s exactly what you’d say if you were Spider-Man and lying to protect your secret identity.

I want a real test. Tell you what: sometime today I’m going to drop a i-beam onto you. If you DON’T have radioactive blood, you will be crushed and thus it will prove your non-spidermanness. But personally I suspect you will stop swingingin mid-air, catch it, and without any need for leverage resume your upward arc.

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together

Hah! I don’t even have to catch the beam to prove I’m not Spider-Man! Yes, being crushed would prove that I don’t have radioactive blood-based strength; but it doesn’t matter, since my lack of spider-sense means that I’ll never even detect the beam to begin with! Therefore… um.

I am not very good at proving I’m not Spider-Man.

Tell you what: wanna be one of my Amazing Friends?

I am not a bimbo.
I am not my own worst enemy.
I am not a special flower.
I am not become Death, Destroyer of Worlds.

I’m too busy exposing you to radiation that will turn your brain to jelly, so that you’ll be a robot with no desire but to serve me.

And that, my friendds, is what we call the circle of snark.

He’ll be Shodan? You ARE evil.

Whoa. Even I think that was too mean, and I am the king of pointless insults.

Oh come on! So far the Spider-Friends includes Iceman, Firestar, that teenaged version of the Thing from The Fred and Barney Show, H.E.R.B.I.E., and Yukk the Ugliest Dog in the World-- plus reserve members Spartacus and the Obama Campaign.

So, I take it the OP does not approve of his own message?

Pfft. Back in the day, we knew how to guillotine meaner kings than you.

Goo Goo Ga Joob.

I am not a crook.

I am not Spock.

No man is an island.

What about women?