BRRAAAAAAPPPPP!! Tisiphone uses her Stihl 045 to lop off the offending hand…
I was kinda hoping this was about women who belch like frat pledges. I can get a REAL good one out after a few sips of Dr. Pepper! When I do, my husband says, “How dainty.”
As for farting, my mom-in-law used to light hers when she was in college.
Patty
P.S. I smell a Threadspotting nominee…!
Then there was the day my wife got a cordless drill to put in some shelves. She put in a bit, drilled out the pre-measured holes, switched to a screwdriver bit, rammed in the screws, looked at me watching her complacently, assumed a James Bond pose and said, “I am Woman. See me screw.”
We had fun that night.
You want to pat a woman’s behind after a BRAAAAAP? Ewww!
Wherever you may be, let your BRAAAAAAP blow free.
Ah, yes, Stihl, now there’s a man’s chainsaw. Far superior to those wimpy Homelite’s they were talking about, those things are for girls.
::d&r::
pluto hehe. I’m in trouble…I’m already lusting after a bigger blade. With a flame thrower attachment. And turbo charged, yeah. Can I upgrade the motor to a Chevy 350?
Do the folks who make AK47s make chainsaws?
It’s 5:30 am, & I’m eying the blue spruce across the street. I think it must go. Fucks up the feng shui around here.
Hmm. Gotta go.
She’s gone! Somebody call somebody! Do something! If someone uses the excuse “Fucks up the feng shui around here”, there will be bad things happening all over the world! I hear Stalin used that excuse!
Hehe. Me too, only I thought it was more of a belch. 
[sup]I thought it was a fart, too…[/sup]
Be careful, Carina! Don’t, like, lop off a leg or sumthin’! And wear safety glasses! And have a “safety person” 2 or 3 hundred yards away with a cell phone pre-programmed to “911”! And don’t cut trees so that they tip back over on top of you! And remember that there have been[sup]*[/sup] prominent scientists who have conjectured that an impact between a chainsaw blade and a just so wood atom could spark an uncontrollable nuclear reaction!
I’m happy that Astrofiancee has no affinity for tools, as I’d rather it be me that gets maimed than her (I whine better!)…
[sup]*[/sup]OK, so I made them up… but does that REALLY make them any less real? C’mon now, does it?
So, if I did start a thread called “I am woman, hear me burp!”, how long do you think it would take before one of the mods came along and busted my head? 
Just wanted to say, I love this thread!
:D:D:D
It all started with an electric screwdriver…
I loves my power tools!
You go, Carina!
Sisters, UNITE!
Hubby got a Sears gift certificate one year for Xmas. Didn’t need anything. Gave it to me. Guess what I got?
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A circular saw. Nice little Craftsman.
I have chainsaw envy! Is that somehow Freudian?
I had 2 chainsaws growing up - a Stihl for little stuff, and a Husqevarna for big old maples. But that’s not the fun part…
Once the tree was cut down and to length, it had to be split…and Dad thought hydraulic splitters were “dangerous”. So we ended up with the Spike of Death, attached in lieu of a rear tire and run by the truck motor - back end jacked off the ground and a 15-pound sledge hammer on the accelerator pedal until the speedometer read 70. Then you push a big piece of wood onto this device (looks like a giant screw), and the threads pull it on, splitting the wood. Simple, right? Yeah, until you forget to wedge the bottom of the giant log you’re splitting and you end up with a 100 lb. block of maple spinning at 70 mph on the end of a long spike…between you and the sledge on the accelerator.
Broke 2 windows in the house that way. Turned the whole thing around, broke the garage door into the barn.
Oh, and that spike gets HOT.
Yeah, and when they get past twelve, they get a Stihl. Unless, of course, you’re only clearing brush. Homelites work for that, sorta…
I want a Hot Saw. Those are the ones you see in the televised lumberjacking contests…36" bar, small dirtbike engine…
[Tim Allen]
Heh, I’ve got tools to fix tools!
[/Tim Allen]
Dang, Carina, you’ve put me in a mood for light construction! Where’s that damn pile of 2x4s I had left over…
::farts, burps, reaches for next beer::
Matbe later.
It’s what we’re good at. Our fathers taught us how to do it, as did their fathers before them, and we will teach our sons. 
Right there with ya Zero
Women who Burp, fart and use chainsaws? Good god, where have you been all my life?
dlb
I liked that one, very witty wife. Does she have a sister?
Do you go to Sears, and think what tool will get me the best sex, or bang for the buck?
Carina42
I didn’t open this thread for a long time, because I thought it was a burping thread. I think you should have went for “I Am Woman, Hear That Roar”