Motorized splitters? Oh man, come on! You want a big heavy maul, with a 4 foot handle, and a spike 'specially made for splitting. On a cold Saturday afternoon, you go out to the backyard, and pretend that piece 'o wood is, is…
(not wanting to give anyone ideas, I decided to leave that part out.)
And don’t come back in the house 'till your back hurts.