and they sent me a comedienne.
Mrs. Plant is cleaning out the refrigerator:
“What are these?”
“Those are leeks, Baby.”
“Should I call a plumber?”
God, in His infinite wisdom, doesn’t send us what we ask for, He sends us what we need 
My wife’s most common response after injurying myself and doing the hand between thighs and jumping around dance is:
“Why did you do that?”
When I read the title of this thread I immediately thought of Apocalypse Now:
“I asked for a partner in life. And for my sins, I got one.”