Actually I shouldn’t even own a gun given my issues with alcohol. It kept me from becoming a lawyer - I couldn’t pass the bar. Not only that, it’s a gateway drug… to aspirin. So for now my relationship with whiskey is on the rocks.
My friend from Quebec is a heavy drinker too. He drank Canada dry. Fortunately he’s a chemist, for him alcohol is not a problem, it’s a solution.
Little Willie from his mirror
Sucked the mercury all off,
Thinking, in his childish error,
It would cure his whooping-cough.
At the funeral, Willie’s mother
Smartly said to Mrs. Brown,
“T was a chilly day for William
When the mercury went down.”