Holmes told Letterman they had been dating for six weeks.
Yeah, I think that’s it.
Most of this boils down to a choice. Do you believe that the biggest star in the world (which Cruise arguably is, today) stages a public event to make his image look a tiny bit better - something that is basically unheard of in today’s uncover-all-secrets media world - or do you believe that someone from a prank comedy show pulls a prank - something that happens about ten thousand times a year - and that prank doesn’t work as well as they hoped?
I’ll make this even easier. If you flatly disbelieve in all conspiracy theories you will be right at least 99.99% of the time. And that’s a better percentage than Cecil’s. 
Are Tom and Katie actually engaged? I’d heard only that he asked her.
I wonder if Tom isn’t one of those men who can’t not be married. You know what I mean? You don’t hear about men in a hurry to get married. Johnny Depp used to be one, years ago – he asked five girlfriends in a row to marry him – and he didn’t settle down until he was married. I think Russell Crowe might be one too. He said he blew up recently because he’s unhappy being away from his wife and child. These guys need that home and family thing to give them some kind of identity or grounding.
Anyway, that’s my theory. 
There is a third possibility. It wasn’t staged by Cruise or his people, however they were aware of the possibility of it happening (it happened to Sharon Osborne recently) and they were prepared for the contingency and didn’t avoid a situation where it was likely to occur. They probably figured a good response to a prank would help him look less foolish.
My question to those who believe it’s a set-up is; did it go to plan? Do you believe that an embarrassing scene with Cruise saying “jerk” a lot was what they had in mind? Because as set-ups go, that strikes me as incredibly lame.
Or, if it didn’t go to plan, what was supposed to happen? Because I simply can’t imagine a single way that could have possibly resulted in Cruise looking good. On the other hand I can see 1001 ways how it could end up with him looking bad. No matter how you slice it, Cruise has just been the butt of a lame joke.
Hell, I dunno. It seemed to be a strange reaction if he truly was surprised, but then he has been acting strange lately.
If I may propose an only slight variance to the scenario in question. . . TC was in no way aware he was about to get squirted, but when it did occur, he had the presence of mind, being the consummate over-actor, to work a display of *very *drawn out righteous indignation. The guy’s a pro- he knew cameras were on him. I don’t believe he had foreknowledge of the event, and so can’t technically be accused of staging it; yet his reaction was so measured, so calculatingly executed as it occurred that it could still be construed as disingenuous, if not flat-out fake.
In other words, if it had happened in the lobby of his building at 2 AM, I submit he would have either (A) slunk away in embarrassment/fear or (B) grabbed the squirting reporter and beat the living crap out of him.
I don’t think it was staged and I agree with the above impression.
So informative. I was simply curious if he’s done anything aside from being a scientologist or having a new girlfriend lately, as I doubt either of those things will affect his reputation any more than it’s already affected.
As for my sky, it’s blue and it has a single puffy cloud shaped like Valerie Harper doing a single woman re-enactment of the D-Day landing at Normandy.
Hope this helps.
May I propose a slightly different theory, old chum? Perhaps the Tom Cruise Squirting Incident WAS a conspiracy and you’re just another bought-and-paid-for cog in Tom Cruise’s spin team.
Think about it, folks. Exapno Mapcase years ago strategically prepositioned himself as a “typical” SDMB poster, shored up his street cred through a few thousand innocuous posts, and when the signal came from the Cruise camp, our friendly little chum steps forward to deflect negative opinion and restore Cruise’s inestimable prestige on this august message board.
For all we know, Exapno Mapcase is actually Nicole Kidman working incognito as part of the Cruise-Kidman divorce settlement. If so, I have a message for you, Kidman:
How ya doin?
I don’t like Tom Cruise and I hate defending him but I can’t imagine that this was a staged event. They got arrested (I mean, how much is Tom Cruise going to have to pay someone for doing something that opens themselves up to arrest considering that he’s a mega-star with yonks of good publicity to the most recent few snafus) and they’re opening themselves to civil suit for assault and battery torts from someone notorious for his litigiousness.
Also, I don’t think Tom Cruise has the self-awareness to know how batshit crazy he comes off right now anyway or that his star has dropped the way it has of late-it’s part of the same craziness that’s going on with the trainwreck that was Britney’s Chaotic nightmare and the constant carnival that is Michael Jackson. They don’t know their image has dropped/tarnished/whathaveyou b/c they’re constantly surrounded by people who tell them what they want to hear so they go on acting nutty. That it’s okay to advocate taking some vitamin E to beat schizophrenia or that it’s okay to broadcast private home videos that feature your dimness and the fact that you married a pussy-bearded skeeze. I don’t think he’s actively trying to make himself look better with the public b/c I think he thinks he’s doing okay as it is.
As to having a towel on hand-they constantly have people/assistants around with contingency stuff like makeup and whatnot don’t they? Remember when Kirsten Dunst got the gum on her shoe and she had an assistant out there scraping away at her highheel? I suspect they keep towels on hand b/c stars hate getting photographed sweating up a storm and then appearing on www.gofugyourself.com and the like.
Damn I hate defending Tom Cruise.
Well, you caught me. For years I’ve been wanting revenge on that little shrimp. He made me act in Eyes Wide Shut! What what you do after a humiliation like that?
Now I’m standing here proudly in my four-inch high heels. And nothing else! I’m naked and I’m glorious! And I watch that tape of him being squirted, over and over, and it feels so good, so right, and I get to touch myself, here, and here, and here, and I look to my lifesize cutout of Cecil, and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.
That’s… um… interesting… :backs away:
I can’t hear Shostakovich’s Jazz Waltz without thinking of your boobies. Thank you.
Hate? It’s obvious that you LOVE Tom Cruise, but you’re too damned conflicted to admit it. Go ahead, Penelope, admit that you’re still madly in love with TC.
Also, I heard that his freakout on Oprah episode will be airing tomorrow-for those of us who missed it.
And if you watch the video really carefully, you can see a second squirter on the grassy knoll.
Bingo, I think we have a winner.
This group is known from doing it to Sharon Osborne, so probably one of Tom’s handlers had recognised them.
His first reaction was just too bizarre, I think most people would duck or something when somebody sprays them with an unknown substance, not start smiling.
Just one point about this. I think it’s fair to say that Tom, being a human, has had a fair amount of experience with water. I’d even venture to guess that he has water on his face at least once a day. Water is, by and large, easy to identify, especially if it is sprayed in the face. Had it been some other, less identifiable substance, perhaps you and the others might have a point, but water is so readily identifiable, I put no credence whatsoever in the thought that he should have reacted hysterically and feared sarin, ricin, or anything else.
But people do so love conspiracy theories and ripping on celebrities. So it makes for a nice juxtaposition in his case. Rip on Tom for shooting off his mouth about psychiatry, but not for this.