I wrote this long, detailed rant as a way to get all this stuff out of my system, and it comes off as more “emotional capital” wasted than it really is. Other times when I’m angry about something, I go out to the garage and go a couple rounds with my punching bag. It’s cathartic to get all of the frustrated feelings out of my system, and I always feel better after. Now that it’s all said and done (on my part, at least), I don’t forsee anymore problems.
The only reason I don’t block her from Facebook and all of that is because it would stir up drama that I never wanted to start in the first place. She and I share 60-some friends, and are both in a FB “group” with several of our girlfriends. It just makes more sense to maintain basic civility, rather than block her entirely and have her emailing and calling and asking our other friends what’s wrong, if I’m mad at her, etc. This is the path of less resistance, lol.
And one more time:
No, I never sent it, never talked to her about it, and never made a big deal over it except for this thread. And now I’m finished with bitching and ready to move on.
One thing I have discovered about a lot of people who have had really difficult lives is that adversity does not always or maybe even often make for nice people. This seems to be particularly true of people who have had early sexual abuse. Not everyone that lives with the damage is a survivor.
That’s absolutely why I think it took me so long to finally give up trying to be her friend. My empathy for her became blinders that blocked me from really seeing her true personality. And while I still have just as much compassion for her as ever, it’s clear that being friends with someone who is so broken is high maintainence and not worth it at all.
Oh lawd, that would be the most boring reality show ever made.
