No one’s absolving Padma here, although we don’t know what was going on in her week so we can only make assumptions based on the short conversation they had. But just because Padma’s being a jerk doesn’t mean Marten gets to be one for free. Part of being a mature adult is not giving into petty impulses for getting back at people, especially because Padma doesn’t really know if he’s truly busy or avoiding her so not only is it an immature revenge plan, it’s not even a good one.
I think where Marten screwed up was acting passive aggressive on the phone. If he has been direct with Padma and vocalized what he was feeling, they would have cleared the air and then either broken up there or gotten together for one more night. That’s why they Faye is giving him shit.
No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that, when someone tells you they’re too busy to talk to you in the way that Marten told Padma, they’re telling you to fuck off.
If someone with whom you have a tentative romantic situation calls you up and says, “I’m moving across the country tomorrow, and I’d like to see you one last time,” there’s a couple ways you can handle that. If you want them to go away forever, you say, “No, I’m busy tonight. Have a nice trip,” and hang up.
If you actually want to ever talk to them again, you say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I’d like to see you tonight, but I can’t. I’m just this minute going out the door to do *. I hope you have a safe trip. Call me when you get to California and tell me all about it!”
Lastly, if you want them to go away forever, and you don’t want to be a douche, you say, “Look, I feel like you treated me really badly by not returning my calls for a week. You seem like a nice person, but I don’t want to be involved with someone who thinks that’s an acceptable way to treat people. I hope things work out well for you in California. Good bye.”
[sub]*Where is something suitably important like, “I have to drive my grandma to the hospital for her hip replacement surgery,” and not, “I have to shampoo my dog.”[/sub]
Did you miss the part in my post where I called Padma a coward?
Yes, he’s an asshole when he makes a bad choice. Just like Padma was an asshole when she made a bad choice. Both of them are acting like assholes.
The difference is, this is a comic strip about Martin Reed. He’s the protagonist. Padma’s a minor satellite character who hasn’t been seen in the strip for almost two weeks, and may never appear in the strip again. The focus is on Martin’s behavior because it’s Martin’s behavior that we’re seeing.
I agree with you on that, actually. I don’t think she’s a good match for him at all. A relationship with Padma looks like “Martin and Dora 2.0” But Martin isn’t rejecting her because he doesn’t see a good future between them, he’s rejecting her because she hurt his feelings, and he wants to hurt her back. He’s not handling this situation like an adult, he’s handling it like a teenage shit.
And I agree that Marten acted like a jerk. But Faye of all people calling him out on it? She messed around with Marten’s feelings for a couple of years. For her to accuse Marten of playing headgames is mindboggling.
I think when Faye tells you that you’re acting like an idiot about a relationship for no good reason, you should probably listen. She knows more about that than nearly any other person on Earth.
Exactly. Jeph has established that everyone lives within walking distance of each other (except where noted, such as Dora’s new apartment). Even if Marten had had plans, it’s pretty unlikely he couldn’t have found 15 minutes to go over and say goodbye. When someone you care about is leaving town, saying goodbye in person is the kind of thing you make time for. The subtext is pretty clear.
Yes, we’re basically asking Marten to treat Padma better than she treated him. As Inner Stickler pointed out, just because someone’s being a jerk to you doesn’t make you any less of a jerk if you respond in kind. And re: Faye, yeah she’s being pretty harsh on Marten, but considering she started the conversation by greeting Marten with “Hey buttass,” I think it’s safe to say her calling him an asshole doesn’t have quite the same amount of venom as it might coming from anyone else. And the fact that she’s way more messed up than Marten ever was doesn’t make her observations any less valid.
‘You ASSHOLE!’ is probably too harsh. But this is Faye, she’s consistently been shown as judgmental and dismissive. (She does other good qualities. Besides the obvious two, I mean) Padma would have gotten the same response if she’d asked, and probably had some kind of coffee additive thrown in her face.
The irony of Faye pointing this out isn’t so much her mistreatment of Marten in the early strips (to her credit, she STOPPED when she realized she was doing it) but that Dora gave her pretty much exactly the same ‘you’re letting life pass you by’ speech that she gave Marten several hundered strips ago. Which she blew off. Every good thing that’s happened to her since, with the possible exception of the presumably-awesome-Sven-sexing, has been something that ‘just happened’ to her. The commissioned art project and her relationship with Angus both happened in spite of her actions, not because of them.
The message is clear. What Marten really needs is an awesome rack.
His problem is that he’s too passive at life, not that his friends sometimes score points off of him without sufficient retaliation. (Which is what the majority of the ‘Marten is such a wuss!’ moments seem to be) His best feature is that he really is what he seems to be, a genuinely nice and caring guy. He needs to learn how to say ‘this is what I want,’ and follow up on that.
He’s clearly The Chick (Warning, TVTropes) for his social circle. There’s no shame in that. His social circle is kind of screwed up and needs someone like him. What he doesn’t need to do is start being nasty and dishonest to ‘win’ relationship games. There IS shame in being The Bitch, which is something people like Marten are at risk of becoming. Going from passive to passive-aggressive is NOT a step in the right direction.
I still don’t agree with the idea that QC is a sadist show. Yeah, the characters are frequently unhappy, but nothing really terrible has happened to anyone since the strip began, and things have gotten consistently better for pretty much everyone. Marten started off lonely, bored, and stuck in a dead-end job he hated. He meets an awesome, if kinda-crazy chick. Doesn’t get laid, but his life gets more interesting. Boom! He loses his job! But he gets another that he doesn’t hate. (Still dead-end, but you can’t have everything) Boom! Faye epicly just-friends him! But Dora snaps him up! (an upgrade, if you ask me) A considerable period of reasonably happy relationship-stuff and hot goth sex ensue. Boom! Dora turns out to have issues herself, and they break up! But they had a pretty good run, and are still friends, have acquired a fairly large and fun social circle, and Raven is (presumably) spreading complementary rumors about his size all over town. Then, he meets Dora’s Indian Doppelganger! More relationship stuff, and also more sex. Boom! She’s moving to California! [del]But at least they split on good terms and may get back together some time.[/del] Ok, that last one was unfortunate, but all in all, that doesn’t sound like terrible few years to me. Sounds like life.
–
Not like MY life, of course, which is depressingly short on the goth and/or indian chick sex.
Clearly what we need now is a QC/Something Positive crossover 
Well-observed! Also, true to life. Oftentimes people are excellent at providing advice that they really ought to be following themselves (whether they know it or not).
I don’t have much to say except that I love just how happy the holo-pony has made Marigold.
A holo-pony would make ANYONE happy.
I missed that. Where is it established that Marten is swinging pipe?
Here. Dora was kidding of course.
And now I’m wondering if JJ is a secret (or not so secret?) brony…
I imagine the odds of Marigold not being a brony are slightly lower than the Pope not being Catholic.
I think all you can safely say is that he is aware of the subculture and he knows the kind of person who makes up the majority of the subculture. I’m not sure you can draw more conclusion without him speaking directly.
The holopony is awesome, though.
And somehow I read “JJ” as “Marigold.”
Wow.
It happens to the best of us.
This arc is starting to bore me. Where is Jed going with this holodeck/Potter story? Yawn.