Well, what’s done is done, so I don’t think advice about the relationship is going to help much, although advice about how to plod through a slightly-less-than-heartbreaking but still not fun break up would be great.
Basically, he’s always been emotionally unavailable (something that I am guilty of, too), but it seemed like whenever I’d be about to give up there would be some kind of breakthrough and he’d show some kind of trust. Anyway, we still had a heck of a good time with each other, so it seemed worth it. There have been red flags all along, but we pretty much agreed to keep going while it was fun, and to know when it’d run it’s course. Recently, he’s been pulling away even more than usual, and it’s stopped being fun for me. I don’t think he’s cheating or there is anything shady going on, I think he just has too many of his own emotional problems to have much leftover to give me. My mother told me “never make anyone a priority who only makes you an option,” and I’m starting to feel like an option.
I have a history of dragging things out and not moving on when I should. I don’t want to do that this time. I’m young and in a fun city, and if I’m not getting what I need, I think I ought to be looking for it. There is no reason for me to fight a guy who is pushing me away. If you push me away, eventually I’ll go away. I think he’s a decent guy at heart, and I know I’m a pretty decent girl. But if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be.
Of course, there is always that voice in your head that says “Holy shit, you are making a huge mistake!” but I think it’s best to ignore that.
Still, it’s sad. It’s sad to do something that can’t be undone, and sad to give up on something no matter how not-ideal it was.
