Here is something truly mundane and pointless…
I have never knowingly met any of you. But, somehow, I still had a dream about you guys. You know how sometimes you dream about a person, and she looks absolutely nothing like your friend “Susie” but you just know she’s “Susie?” That’s what happened.
I was riding in a pickup truck with my boyfriend when we heard on the radio that the members of the Straight Dope Message Board were gathered in the local Sears, playing some huge, elaborate prank on the shoppers. We decided to check it out, and found computer monitors stacked in front of the merchandise, each with a picture and profile of a member. Every time a shopper ran into one of those things, they would gasp, and back away, shooing away their children. I found this strange.
Boyfriend and I decided to leave, and as we walked out, we saw about a hundred people gathered in the lobby and on the parking deck, taunting the customers who are leaving. “Hey!” I said to Boyfriend, “I know these people! Well, kind of! That one’s Zette! And that one’s cessandra! And over there’s Chef Troy!” I went on like this, but those are the first names I remember saying (the rest was a bit “dream garbled”).
I went up to one of the people, tugged a sleeve, and said “Hey, I’m Gundhilde! I’m Gundhilde!” She gave me a funny look and said “Um…OK, but will you move along, please? We’re trying to taunt people.” I got into the truck with my boyfriend, then said “I wonder why they wouldn’t talk to me?” Then we drove home.
When I got home, I found that two immigrants I had allowed to live with me decided to paint my attic and basement without asking me. They had fled town, but left a note telling me that 75% of the job was free, but I could send the rest of my payment to <some address>. I was piping mad.
Oh, and througout the whole thing, I was wearing a blue suit, a dark blue hat with a big feather, Victorian-lookin’ boots, and a fur coat.
How goofy.
