The boyfriend I’ve had for 2 years just started completely ignoring me. I guess he really wants me out of his life. He blocked my phone number, e-mail address, Im’s, and sent back letters I was trying to contact him with. He said I bring up his ex girlfriends too much and I need to quit. He mentioned he would stop talking to me if I did this, and I gues he did. I’m just really jealous and I didn’t want to lose him and now I did. I guess it’s for the best because he lives 20 miles away (too far for me). We got in fights about who would drive to who. We would argue about how overprotective I am of possessions, especially my car and he thought I was a nut for that. He constantly told me how he hates my style of clothes, shoes, how I bleach blonde my hair, how fat I am, my bad skin, etc.
My first thought when I met him was that he’s really ugly but I decided to continue seeing him. Now I have no friends and it’s the holidays. He was my only friend. I’m sad now. I have finals tomorrow and I’m scared to sleep because a burglar robbed us last night. I want to stay up to catch him. So I’ve been pondering life and I’m thinking will I ever get married and have kids. I don’t have any friends basically because I’m not a people person and don’t get along with anyone. I’m sitting here alone in my room talking to my cats because they are my only friends now. I hate life!
Oh, Harlow, I’m sorry I can’t offer much more than a hug and my sympathies. I know life sucks right now but it won’t always, it just goes through ups-and-downs.
Your depressed tone worries me. Maybe you’re suffering from SADS? It’s a seasonal disorder that affects folks when they don’t get enough sunshine and whatnot. Try getting out and going for a brisk walk tomorrow and see how you feel afterwards.
Take care of yourself and be safe, okay? I’m sure you’ll do great on your finals, I have mine too on the 16th. ((((Harlow))))
There is someone out there who truly does like you for who you are, without trying to change you. Trust me, you will find the person, who upon seeing you after being upo for 36 hours straighht, with the worst bedhair in the world, and no make up on, will look you straighht in the eyes, and say “You are beautiful today”
As for handling the holidays, never forget your family. They may be physically miles and miles away, but if you need them, chances are they will be there for you.
Harlow, I have a couple of pieces of advice, but, bear in mind that you get what you pay for and I ain’t charging anything.
First, it’s ok to be sad. It’s healthy to be sad. When you become attached to things, even things that you know you are better off without, you can’t help but to feel loss when they go away. Recognize that your being sad over this loss will pass with time, though that doesn’t make the sense of loss you are experiencing right now any less real…or less painful.
Next, recognize that everything changes, all of the time. I don’t know that you can ever get away from “loss”, but you might better prepare yourself for it in the future by knowing that nothing stays the same forever.
Third, when you’ve had some time to grieve, maybe you want to sit down and examine your outlook on life and on relationships and on stuff. Do you put too much value on your material things? Why are you so jealous? What makes you think that someone so critical of you is worthy of your friendship? Ask yourself these things not to determine if you are “right” or “wrong” (since I don’t think there is a correct answer to that), but to determine if the perspective that you have on them is really serving you and your life in the most positive way.
Finally, know that you’ll be in my thoughts tonight as I lay down to sleep. I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you and hoping that the “brighter day” that most certainly follows will come just as soon as possible.
While rejection is never easy to swallow, it might be a good thing that this guy is out of your life. It doesn’t sound as if it was a healthy relationship and getting a stressful thing like that out of your life could be for the better. It will allow you to move on and find something better (hey, if you met one guy who’s to say who won’t meet another).
It also sounds like you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with yourself. You may be too possessive (jealous of ex-girlfriends?) or materialistic. If you’re not a people person, why not? Are there traits about yourself that you’d like to change? Ask yourself these tough questions and you’ll likely have an answer that can lead you towards happiness. Implementing changes in your personality can be really hard but it will serve you well in the long life you have ahead of you.
Cheer up, and Merry Christmas.
Psssst. I don’t keep an email address and Yahoo handle in my profile for my health. Look me up if you’d like to chat.
If you made this guy the centre of your life because you think no one else cares – think again. I’ve had to learn, in this life, to look around me at those who care, but who I missed along my journey.
You feel lonely now. Yes, I can relate. In the morning, go out and start talking to people. Say hi, and discover that the world is bigger, and more beautiful, than you probably think it is. It’ll be hard, it’ll be a climb, but you can do it.
Talking to us now, on this messageboard, is a start.
Sorry to hear about the burglary. That sucks. Take care – and good luck with your finals.
The best way to stop feeling sorry for yourself is to help someone else. Get out of the house, go volunteer at a school, daycare center, assisted living center, hospital, homeless shelter…ANYWHERE you can do some good. I agree with the above posters but wallowing in your pain allows it to grow and consume you. Be active, be proactive, get on with it. You wallow, he wins.
Harlow - the other posters offer good advice. Very sorry you are down. Give yourself a chance to mourn a bit - but only a bit - then pick yourself up and change the things you want to and can - e.g., work on issues like jealousy, do not associate with guys who treat you the way you described and please, be careful regarding robbery - I am assuming you called the police. Do not confront burglars if you can avoid it!
Oh, well—at least he didn’t marry you, turn out to have a crazy common-law wife, then blow his brains out in your bathroom two months after the wedding.
Harlow Boy you’re having a rough time my sympathies. (Hey it’s OK to talk to cats). Like everyone else says, things change, you’ve just had a whole lot of bad things happen - stick it out. I got dumped just before my finals and forgot what fun was for a while. You remember eventually.
You shouldn’t be with anyone who critisizes your style…(although ‘bad skin’ ? He comments on your ‘bad skin’). . .I don’t like the sound of that. Someday, you’ll probably be glad this over!
Criticizing you for your appearance is emotional ABUSE. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. Nobody deserves to be abused.
Trust me, there is a better guy out there for you. It sounds like you’re pretty young still. Trust me, you have plenty of time to find a good man and have a family.
London_Calling, are you saying that Harlow also goes by the username concrete?