I finally did it

Broke up with my husband. Some of you might remember that I moved out of his/our house six years ago. Since then…we’ve been in limbo…he comes over all the time, but never spends the night, just lays on the couch and watches TV all day.

Several times during our conversation, I said “you don’t love me”…“you’re not attracted to me”. Just as I suspected, he didn’t even disagree. But still he doesn’t want a divorce.

After what seemed to be an eternity of going back and forth, he finally left. I burst into to tears and cried for maybe 10 minutes…and now I’m ok…emotionally for now.

I went over and talked to my neighbor Paula and when I got back home there was a message on the phone…It was him…"If you’re ever stuck in a ditch, call me and I’ll be there. (This message was not meant to be ominous.) Geez!

Right now I’m strong and I know this is the right thing. I hope I stay this way.

You know in your heart what you did was right. It may not always be easy but in the long run I’m sure you’ll see that it was for the best. Best of luck to you and kudos for being strong enough to make such a difficult decision.

Good vibes for getting through it in one, healthy piece. I don’t know your story, but six years in limbo is a long time. Sounds like you gave him/marriage to him more than a chance. Good luck.

Argh! That message he left you annoys me because it plays on (preys on?) a female instinct or whatever to find a “protector,” and that instinct is one of the reasons women sometimes stay in a situation that is far worse than being alone would be. He knows you would be feeling vulnerable right now. Even if he doesn’t want you, it would be good for his pride if you said he could come back. Don’t let him! Good for you. I don’t know you, but it sounds to me like this was so overdue. You will be so much happier in the long run if you can get through the first few weeks. Heck, you might be so much happier today. :slight_smile:

Sending supporting thoughts your way.

Gail, you’ve done a very brave thing. I’ve read some of your other threads and you really, really did the right thing in cutting off your ex-husband. Even now, with that phonecall, he’s trying to suggest that you need him in anyway, when in reality he hasn’t done anything near being a worthwhile life-partner for you and your daughter in the past years.
He hasn’t been worthwhile to himself either, and you divorcing him just might serve as the wake-up call he needed; but if he doesn’t follow up on it, that’s no longer your problem.

It’s probably too early, but I suggest you treat yourself to enrolling in a dating site, if only to see again that there are so many good guys out there. Best of luck to you!

Stay strong, Gail! You did what is right for you. I wish you the best of luck!

Perhaps, but perhaps not so sinister either. It could just be his way of saying “No hard feelings, and if you ever need a friend, I’m still one of yours.”

Argh! This response annoys me because women read too much into everything. The phone message above nicely sums up the total depth and breadth of the male thought process. That is all there is to it. All there is there is what was said. If Gail ever needs a little help, he will willing to help. Gahh!

Seconded. Looks like you’ve got a green light with no animosity from his camp. Watch your back through this nevertheless, and best wishes to you.