Trying to picture how someone could manage to lay it across a railroad track. :eek:
It’s unsettling on soooo many levels …
… " So, what do you use that thing for, to scare horses?"
It’s easier if you back up a few feet.
No, not underwear…regular shorts, as in outerwear. These have one of those pronged plug-in buckle thingies. And no, not MY pronged plug-in thingie, you pervs! 
Pictures. We demand pictures! And none of this Photo Shop crapola!
Dude, I hate to break this to you, but the dollar store outlet mall might not be the best place to do your clothes shopping. 
Those shorts don’t sound like seconds, they sound like thirds or fourths.
Oh wow. That was lame.
Oooh. I thought we were talking about underwear. Since we’re not, I have to go with:
Generally, they sew the functional parts shut on cheap clothing because it’s too much trouble and expense to make a functional version. You’ll see that on pockets of cheap suits also.
I’d just like to celebrate the first technically correct use of the word “dickhole” in the Pit.
Sailboat
How does one celebrate that event? throwing confetti (or something)
Missed it, who’d you call a “dickhole”?
It semens to me that long confetti cannons would be appropriate.
I had to read that three times before I caught that, so I’m highlighting it for those that read quickly.
Long confetti cannons? Wouldn’t that vary by individual?
I’ve had the opposite problem. Female, shopping in women’s clothing for pajama bottoms to lounge around the house in, take them home only to discover that I have to sew up the fly.
If they don’t have an open placket and they’re not elasticated, how do you get them up over your hips?
I guess you never heard of safety pins – the all-purpose needle and thread in my house.
Tried it, had an unfortunate malfunction. That area of my body is now a no safety pin zone.
I fear some Dopers “edgy” daughter has read those words and whispered “Cool!”
I hear you – or rather, I heard you, the night of the Unfortunate Great Pumpkin Safety Pin Malfuncation Incident.
Try glue. I use that stuff to patch my pants when the crotch starts wearing thin.
Hey now, as a Buffalo Bills season ticket holder, that hurts.