As a Dolphin’s fan, that made me laugh until I cried.
My husband has asked me to sew up the fly on boxers before. He wears them to sleep in, and usually gets the kind where the fly buttons up. These particular shorts were wide open, which could make breakfast awkward for other members of the family ;).
If the fly is just sewn shut, couldn’t you use a seam ripper to open it? I’ve bought many clothes where the pockets have been sewn shut for who knows what reason.
The real problem is that if the rails are moist from dew, average pecker conductivity being what it is, it trips that signal block to “Slow-Approach”.
Plus, I don’t favor getting my junk rusty or greasy. I have limits for proper behavior, y’ know. 
What aspect of your girly bits are attempting to flee the Castle Nightwear such that they must be incarcerated with stitching? Talk about the Great Escape!
Dude! Haven’t you learned that glue+penii is the stuff of which Fark posts are made? Yikes!!
Well I’m kind of a slob and I can spend all day in my pjs, and I don’t need them gaping open at the wrong moment, like when I go out to check the mail. Also, there’s a draft.
You know, I haven’t ever seen shorts like this. But what I hate? Button-flys. Four times as much effort to close.
That’s so they don’t get caught on shit and get torn before you buy them. Cheaper to sew them all up rather than deal with a higher % of unsellable items, apparently.
Ya bunch of pansies, real men rip through the fabric in viril defiance of any barrier.
I think that’s called rape dude…
Well sure, when I’m at home. But when I did this while standing at a public urinal, the other blokes looked at me funny.
Yep. About 10 feet. But I find that if I’m feeling all flaxseed, I need to give it a good toss.
Plus, you have to plan ahead when you feel the need to pee. Ain’t nothing worse than standing there about to piss in your pants trying to fumble the buttons open. Oh my God.
Almost every suit jacket I’ve ever purchased except the ultra, ultra cheap had the(fully functional) pockets sewn shut. I always thought they did this to retain the jacket’s shape during shipping and handling and maybe to keep stuff from getting in the pockets.
I just rip them open. No seam ripper needed, they’re barely basted shut. YMMV
I have no idea why the fly (dickhole?) on a pair of shorts would be sewn shut.
This:
made me laugh out loud. You are fabulous daahling!
I don’t think the OPer was complaining about the dickhole being sewn shut, but rather buying shorts where there isn’t a dickhole but the shorts are constructed to look like there is one.
Which means, as others have already pointed out, that the OP’er is buying some cheap-ass shorts.
Oh, man, don’t even use “dickhole” and “seam ripper” in the same thread.
Hold still, honey, this won’t hurt a bit. 
I don´t think you can have sex with your underwear, if you could the world would probably be a better place.
Damn double posts!
Praise Edit function!
I can’t see how it would make any difference to me if he has sex with his underwear. I’m not against it, mind, but I don’t see any real public benefit to it.
nor any real pubic benefit, either.
I have checked carefully, and cannot find any state in the union where the previous is actually a capital crime (still checking on Guam). However, I am coinfident that no jury in the world would convict us.