I give up. I surrender. You win.

That’s right, ladies, I’m hoisting the white flag. I’m throwing in the towel. You’ve won the war.

I always knew that most of you didn’t find me appealing. Fat, ugly, losing my hair–yeah, I knew I wasn’t nearly good enough looking for the large majority. And I’m very shy on a personal level, so I knew that pretty much eliminated most of the rest, too. Sure, I knew all that. Hey, that’s just life.

But now I have had adequate confirmation of something I suspected but didn’t know for sure…or maybe I did know, and just didn’t want to admit it. I had plenty of evidence–the end of my marriage should have been enough–but no, I had to give it one more try. And it turned out exactly as I should have expected it to. It’s definite now–even for women who don’t mind my looks, I’m just not worth it. At best I’m a temporary expedient until they find something better–which apparently isn’t very hard, and which apparently I don’t even rate mentioning the fact to until after I’ve been replaced. I am to love what reality TV is to culture. I am romantically worthless.

I accept the evidence, and I will not put myself in this position again. That is my pledge to you, women of the world, and to myself as well–I will give you what you want. From now on I will leave you alone; I won’t bother you, I won’t attempt to inflict myself on you. I will not expect you to care, because I know better, and I promise that I won’t care either. I will be a good little boy and keep to myself. Yes, ladies, I give up. I surrender. You win.

I hereby declare MysterEcks to be the official SPOOFE clone of the SDMB.

That’s cool, as long as you don’t throw it away. You might need it if you’ve sworn off women for good. :smiley:

With all the name changing going around lately, you didn’t used to be MagicalSilerKey, did you?

How about us ladies who don’t want you to give up? :frowning:

Mate, you’re probably just livin’ in the wrong part of the world. In some places, it’s hard to get noticed for the class act you are.

Ice Wolf has it right. I told you here to try Antarctica. And you thought I was just kidding… :wink:

Cheer up, Antarctica’s not so bad. I have the awful feeling that my perfect match either a) doesn’t exist, or b) is holed up in a peculiar little monastery somewhere in Nepal. At least when you go to meet yours, you could do a little valid scientific research while you’re there. If I go hunting mine, I have to eat yak butter.

Hang in there.

From the advice column of Ask Jay:

“Enough of this fuckin’ melodrama. My advice? Forget her, dude. There’s one bitch in the world, one bitch with many faces. Nooch.”

Another way of looking at things is this: we are born with a finite number of breaths. A limited pool of heartbeats. Each breath, each thabump of the heart, that’s one less and you don’t get it back. When finding oneself fuming, enveloped in self-pity, and those other unavoidable ugly parts of a day of putting in time on the human shift, occasionally stop to reflect on that, and ask how many more breaths you want to spend doing it. I’ve found it helps to reduce the number spent, all told.

Ditto! Might I suggest moving to Asia?

I’m about 320 lbs. of flab, none too breathtaking in the looks department, emit various noxious odors from various places, drool while I sleep, etc. and I still ended up with Astrogirl (Who, trust me, is a babe outside! And even better on the inside!!).

Don’t give up! Just take a vacation and drink a lot until you get some perspective back. Somewhere out there is the right woman for you, and she’s just as eager to find you as you are to find her (despite your protestations to the contrary!).

My experience leads me to conclude that every spurned advance and every bad break-up is a step preparing you for the time when you do meet THE ONE. And you will… it may take a while, but you will.

FTR: I could have written your OP 5 years ago (seriously! No joke!), but then I decided to trash my life and run away to Korea… and a few weeks later Astrogirl hit on me! I WIN for once!
Don’t give up, man! It’ll happen!:wink:

As one who “surrendered” several months back, let me say that you’re doing the right thing.

Life becomes so much more fulfilling when you move the focus away from constantly trying to please the opposite sex. Take some time off from the sexual rat race and do things that make you happy. Do things that you consider fulfilling. It doesn’t matter if that consists of taking a year off to travel and see the world or taking a year off to vegetate in front of the TV and watch football. It’s whatever makes you happy, dude.


You do, indeed live in the wrong part of the world. Well, the states anyway.

I’m sorry, hon. You know my address if you feel like talking about it.

Much Love,



Now that’s just plain mean. Don’t kick the man when he’s down!

Oh, man, MysterEcks, I can relate to you perfectly.

I’m in the process of divorce, which means I’m free to date. Now, I have lost a LOT of weight since my picture on the People Pages was taken. And my face isn’t that red, and in real life, I don’t look like a slack-jawed yokel. I also like to think I’ve got a good personality, a good sense of humor, and am educated, intelligent, and capable of intellectual discourse. [sub]I’m also told I’m good in the sack, but that’s neither here nor there.[/sub]

The sad thing is, I live in a very large city and can’t seem to get a date. My mistake is showing them that damn SDPP picture. I’ve met men who would like to meet me, then look at it and disappear. It’s the Bermuda Triangle of photos.

So, have heart. There are other people in the same predicament who are even women.


Well there’s your problem right there. Listen. It’s a tough universe. There’s all sorts of people and things trying to do you, kill you, rip you off, everything. If you’re going to survive out there, you’ve really got to know where you towel is.

I’ve known schlubs who were far dumber, uglier, and offensive than you (based on how you’re describing yourself, anyway) who got hooked up. It could still happen.

But if it doesn’t, so what? Plenty of happy people in the world not coupled up and not looking to be.

You can’t be any worse that that lead singer from Blues Traveler.

Sweetie, the female that would hurt you so much that you’d write what you did doesn’t deserve the title ‘lady’.

You’re warm, funny, sharp as a tack, and I could only WISH to have your impeccable debating style. There are WOMEN who would appreciate all your fine qualities, don’t give up. Just give me that towel, before you hurt somebody, okay??

If she’s anywhere near Atlanta, just give me the nod, and so help me, I’ll straighten HER little bunions out!

I’ve heard tell that when you finally “give up” and stop looking, and stop thinking about it, BAM!…you meet “the one”. She might be just around the corner.

Just hang out, relax, and don’t fret over it. There is no doubt in my mind that you are a great catch. My prayers and good thoughts are with you.

Yep, I feel your pain. I have not been looking really hard but it seems the people that just knock me for a loop are not interested. It is all well and good to find someone who is your perfect girl but if the chemistry aint there, no amount of talking is going to do anything about it.

So do what I do and what has been recommended. Just be yourself, dont worry about it and let your life work itself out. it has to work, right?


Mr. S voluntarily removed himself from the dating pool about 5 years before I came along. We’ve been married 11 years and still going strong.

Take from that what you will.

I give up. I surrender. You win

followed by:

And there was much rejoicing!