I hate waiting!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This waiting is killing me. Let me explain…

I can be very patient person if I’m working on something that may be taking a long time or is very painstaking and fiddly – because it is, to some degree, under my control. I am rather less patient if I have done my part, and then I have to wait for something to happen before I get results. Stuff like waiting for something to finish cooking in the oven when it is taking longer than the directions say. Or showing up at the airport with plenty of time, and then having to wait for the flight (especially when I have a close connection on the other end). Or making plans with a friend, and then having to wait for them to show up. That stuff drives me slightly crazy.

So waiting is an issue with me at the best of times. Unfortunately, these days, I’m having to do a lot of waiting. Briefly, I am attempting to get pregnant using donor sperm. I am over 35 years old, which raises the stakes quite a bit and makes the flow of time a very important factor! The process involves approximately 2 week cycles, so time and timing are constantly on my mind. The first 2 weeks involves testing to figure out when ovulation will most likely occur. Then, when all the signs are right, there is a crazy day or two of coordinating with the cryobank, my doctor and my partner to get all of us and the sperm in the same place at just the right time to hit the window of time when the egg will likely be released. We do the insemination, and then we wait…

And wait… 2 more weeks, before I can take a pregnancy test or my period comes, whichever is first. The first week of this is no big deal. Nothing much happens that I would be able to sense anyway. The second week gets kind of tense. I’m on my guard, turning into a hypochondriac, wondering if something is going on inside me. Unfortunately, every “early pregnancy” symptom is virtually identical to a PMS symptom, so I’m feeling all sorts of things, including rampant hormonal mood swings, but they indicate nothing meaningful! Towards the end of the second week, I’m constantly running to the bathroom to see if AF has shown up, or not. The last few days, I’m almost certifiable. Cranky, anxious, hopeful but careful not to get my hopes up, stressed out but trying not to be stressed because that reduces the chance of getting pregnant, constantly dwelling on it while trying to shove it out of my mind. I’m on the edge of tears, trying to get stuff done at work, but getting little done and making mistakes because I’m so distracted and my job is too boring to egage my brain enough to take my mind off things.

Arrrrrrgh! I hate waiting and I am slowly losing my mind.

So, does anyone else have something they are waiting for that is driving them nuts? Word on a new job? Results on a test? College acceptance? Anything?

2

I’m waiting to get over the death of both my parents within 5 weeks.

Fortunately they were both in their eighties and went painlessly in their sleep.
However it really hit me, since they lived just around the corner and I saw them regularly.
I also made all the funeral arrangements.

Family, friends and colleagues have been wonderful. One friend has phoned me every day, which helps enormously.

I’m signed off work with ‘bereavement reaction’ and am gradually getting over it.

I suppose the main lessons are that you must appreciate what you have and there is always someone worse off than yourself.

Good luck with your pregnancy! :slight_smile:
Would meditation help?

3

Mr. Neville is applying for new jobs in astronomy, in lots of different places all around the country. Waiting to find out if and where he’ll get one is making me miserable.

4

{{{{{{{Glee}}}}}}} :frowning:

I’m an “I hate waiting” person, too, and, in retrospect, I wonder how I managed to keep my sanity while waiting the three weeks it takes to get the results of amniocentesis. It was routine, because of “advanced maternal age,” (at all of a year older than you, Rivulus), not because there were any red flags that suggested problems, but it was a lo-o-o-o-o-o-ong wait nonetheless.

5

Glee, I’m so sorry about the loss of your parents in such a short period of time. That is really rough.

I have tried meditation, but I’m not very good at it. It works for my partner, but not for me. What I would really like to do is go for a run or a long bike ride to get rid of some of this nervous energy but, being stuck at work right now, I’m venting on the SDMB instead!

6

Yikes. 3 weeks sounds like an awfully long time to have to wait for results.

BTW, ain’t it fun to be an “older woman” already? I used to feel young for my age, but just thinking about my eggs makes me feel rather antiquated nowadays.

7

Well, that was back in the dark ages – 1994. Maybe it doesn’t take so long now. For your sanity’s sake, I hope that’s the case!

8

Right now I’m checking the mailbox everyday to see if I’ve heard anything from grad schools regarding admissions and/or funding. (I applied for spring semester.) I’ve noticed that I have lost a lot of patience for waiting in the last few years, especially in lines. I try to time my visits to the grocery store so that I go in the morning when hardly anyone is there.

I hope the news is good, rivulus. And I’m so sorry about your parents, glee. How awful.