That’s right, and because it’s your lucky day [sub]and I want an excuse to scarf as many of these as possible[/sub] I’m going to give each and every Doper their own personally customized fortune!* So ask the Oracle of the Cookie what your fate shall be…
And hurry. I’m hungry. 
*[sub](Offer limited by number of fortune cookies and my hunger)[/sub]
Oooh! Me first?
(Chomp, chomp chomp…)
MD, the Cookie has spoken: “Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time.”
So there ya go. Read into that what you will.
Me please!!
I’ll take one, if you’re still hungry
Oh goody, some more. I was starting to get worried, because I had only been able to have one cookie this last hour.
Anyway, the Almighty Cookie has this to say about your fate, BluMoon: “You will enjoy good health and be surrounded by luxury”
That’s a pretty damn good one actually. Unambiguous and quite pleasant. About the only thing it’s missing are several scantily clad members of the gender of your preference attending to your every whim, but that probably counts as luxury.
Now let’s see what lies in the future for you Vaioman…
Bwahahaha! You aren’t going to believe me but I swear it’s true: “The reverse side of this paper is reserved for notes of your business lunch”
What lousy luck. It’s not even a big piece of paper. Just think, you missed out on good health and luxury by just 6 minutes. Bummer.
Ooh I wants a fortune!
Okiedokie DragonBlink, let me just remove the ancient wisdom from the tasty biscuit…
Hmm… “You will enjoy good health and be surrounded by luxury.”
Goddamn cheap unoriginal box of crackers. Oh well, if you don’t want to share your fortune with BluMoon, you can have what’s printed on the back of the slip of paper instead: “This insert has a protective coating” I did promise everyone a personally customized fortune after all.
me! me! me! ooooooohhhh please me!
Hook me up!
Just in time too, I was wondering if I should just eat the rest of them. Alrighty then. I shall now consult the Cookies…
Tir Tinuviel: You are interested in public service and would make an outstanding statesman.
Welby: Bide your time for success is near.
The Cookie has spoken. All hail the Cookie!
Still hungry? Let’s see what fortune awaits me …
Your turn XJETGIRLX…
Oh dear, another duplicate: “You are interested in public service and would make an outstanding statesman”
I you feel you want to avoid your fate of being the first female president you can have instead a random phrase grabbed off the box. Uh… “Happiness is a Kong Foo Sing fortune cookie”
Oddly enough the fortune cookie was invented here in the U.S., California, actually, or so I’ve heard.
And hook me up!
Really Clayton? The back of the box in front of me claims that putting messages in little cookies had its genesis in 500 AD when revolutionaries used this method to pass around the time for the people to revolt.
Maybe it was the idea of putting in a vaugely positive statement and having them after meals which is more modern. I dunno.
Anyhoo, you get: “A pleasant surprise is in store for you”
Isn’t that nice 
Hoo-boy … crazy thing is I work in politics. Maybe there’s something to this after all …
::cue creepy twilight zone music::
Mmmm, cookie. What does the tasty tidbit say about my future?
crossing my fingers and hoping for a non-duplicate fortune
I must be getting ready to hit the lottery.
All hail the Cookie!
XJETGIRLX, do not doubt the wisdom of the Cookie!
I was sort of hoping I’d get a double for you moi, so I could give you the ingredients list. You can relax though. “You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.”
Bwhahahahaaaaaa! You have no idea how intensely amusing this is to me!
That’s it, I’m going back to bed, I am not going to read/hear anything funnier all day…