I Have, I Have Never

True and false.

I have been to Cedar Point Amusement Park and you have not.

(Except for being a pregnant nun) I never cross-dressed for Halloween and you did.

False and true.

I have drunk a case of North Coast Brewery’s Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout and you have not.

I have never sung karaoke at a bar or restaurant and you have.

True and false.

I have danced under a professional choreographer and you have not.

I have never played a wind instrument and you have.

True and True

I have had brain surgery and you have not.

I have never taken a selfie (intentionally) and you have.

True and false.

I have been on Niagara Falls’ Maid of the Mist boat and you have not.

I have never been to the Pacific Northwest and you have.

False and true.

I own a Chevy and you do not.

I have never owned a European-made car and you have.

False and false.
I have walked to a restaurant within the past 6 months and you have not.

I have not had hot tea within the past 6 months and you have.

false and true

I have had a slice of plain pineapple pizza in the past week and you have not.

I have not drunk a sugar-sweetened drink in the past year and you have.

True and true.

I have worked at a day camp and you have not.

I have not worked at an overnight camp, and you have.

True and false.

I have worked in a factory and you have not.

I have never been attacked by a skunk and you have.

True and false (although my dog has been).

I went to a jazz concert tonight and you did not.

You have been to a rock concert in the past month and I have not.

(For a second there I thought your dog had worked in a factory)

True and false.

I am extremely happy right now and you are not*

I have never read a graphic novel and you have.
(just found out I don’t have to go in to work today (Sunday) after all)

False and false.

I have already done some work today and you have not.

I haven’t had a cold in 14 years and you have.

False (including mowing, doing the dishes and collecting and taking out the household trash) and true.

I marched in a parade today, and you did not.

I did not go to the beach this weekend, and you did.

True and false.

I remember when half dollars were in circulation and you don’t.

I never played in Little League and you did.

False and false.

I own more than three half-dollar coins, and you do not.

I have not been to Moscow, and you have.

False and false.

I have over 2,000 tracks of music on my phone and you do not.

I have never held a stoat and you have.

true (less than 50) and false (had to google that one)

I have held a raccoon and you have not

I have never seen a live skunk in the wild and you have.

True and true.

I have sat for an oil painting and you have not.

I have never helped an animal give birth and you have.

False (my parents had a local artist paint my sisters and me when I was but a wee lad) and false.

I will be going to a rock concert tonight, and you will not.

I have not been to LA in the past year, and you have.