I have no one to lean on

So, let me begin my explaining the situation. I’m a 16 year old American male going through those typical times of hormones and alterations of friendships. Typical, I know, but times have been absent of any solace.

Within the past few months my group of friends has had a series of falling out, thus leaving me with few close friends. That’s an entire story in itself, but I’ll refrain.

Then just recently I’ve started experiencing something of a falling out with my close online friend, someone my age who lives in NYC that I talk to daily. We shared all our problems and struggles together, but now things are on shaky ground for a variety of reasons.

I never have my parents to leave on. My dad’s a drunk who lives on the other side of town, and I just can’t relate to my mom, although she’s nice and whatnot. I don’t have a SO to entrust, and writing in my journal only goes so far. My therapist doesn’t offer much comfort, or at least the type I desire. I’m not religious and don’t plan to be, so I have no organization to go and rely on.

I now have no one to lean on, no one to talk to about my latest issues. I’m feeling void now, and utterly alone. I’ve never related to my peers much, but this is getting too problematic.

What do I do now?

Well, welcome to my realm. I am 17, and I have a very similar problem. What i would suggest to start off with, is to set goals – specific things. For me, i am really anxious to go to college, and go on with my life. I am stuck in high school for now, and every day can be a living hell. Just take everything one step at a time, rely on yourself and your instincts, and understand that one day, in the near future, you will have the tools necessary to shape your life however you want it. Set something to look forward to. This is the hardest part – i still cope with it: Don’t ever let yourself focus on negativity – ever. It never helps and always brings you down. Trust me; I have, and often am where you are. :slight_smile:

Being a teenager is so tough - I was always whiped into a froth about something - it’s really easy to feel alone, and I think a lot of kids do - even the kids that look like they have it all figured out.

I don’t know what your area is like, but perhaps you could look into a non-religous youth group? The other option is hobbies or activities - what do you like to do? Any chance you can meet people that like the same sorts of things? There are writers groups, book clubs, sports teams, etc. etc. It sounds cliche, but it is a great way to meet people.

Hang in there - this too will pass. :slight_smile:

I guess i might also address what it is you wrote asking about. Many times in life the only one you have to lean on is yourself. THat sounds completely contradictory, but when you can learn to rely on yourself, you can become unconquerable. Simply put, you have to take full control, until the time comes when you can rely on someone, i.e. SO, parental situation change, possible religion, etc.

While I can’t offer any sage advice, I can tell you from the perspective of a ‘former teenager’ that the majority of us looking in on this thread wouldn’t go back to being 16 years old for large sums of money.

The good news is that it gets much better. You start to feel more comfortable with yourself, your sexuality, your social standing and generally what you are doing with your life.

My only recommendation is to try to be productive. Don’t sit around moping. Learn new things, overcome any fear you have of engagements and talk with people. I suspect you might be surprised to learn that there are many teenagers who are going through the same doldrums you are right now.


Methinks ACK is trying to tell you something, Daoloth

Hang in there, it does get much better. One day, high school will just be a distant memory, I know it may not seem that way not but it is true. “Hope is the belief that the feeling you are feeling will pass.” It does.:slight_smile:

Tell Daoloth something, indeed. Yes, we’ve all been there. In fact only moments ago I was reading the “diary” that I have kept, but not stuck with since my HS days.

Things really suck when you are in high school. That’s it.

Personally, I had no family to depend on either, and I always fell back on my friends … who are now failing me and it seems family is there in their place.

It’s a weird thing.

My IMHO suggestion: Ride it out.

However, don’t be complacent. I missed a lot of opportunities in the “just going to college” stage because I was downtrodden and didn’t know what to do with myself.

Now I’m kinda sorry I didn’t do what I could at that time, because I’m short in other areas that I could have been better at.

So what I’m saying, dude, is ride the wave, but remember: You only get to be that young once. Once you screw off High School adn college, you’re looking at tough times.

As am I.

Wasn’t this Hitler’s approach to life?

Everything in moderation. Don’t become so independent that you are the only person you can ever look to. That would be retarded. Rather, try to ride out the storm on your own will power, and when the time comes that other people are in the picture, then alter it–lighten your load, so to speak. Hitler–not hardly.