I’ll do it.
You get use to it after a while.
Ain’t harmless a good sport? 
<offscreen>:<<<KA-POW!!>>>
Oh my god! harmless has been shot! Oh geez, the blood…this is just…someone call 911! 
harmless, don’t you die on us (again)…oh, the humanit…err…zombiety!
Did anyone see who pulled the trigger???
Um… Hal? That was just Harmless getting married and having a baby. (Shotgun wedding?)
That was too good.
Of course, if this is really like Friends, she’ll be able to ignore the baby for hours at a time, with no consequenses! Isn’t TV parenting great?
I’m back. And to think 2 days of illness would try and stop me from killing this thread. But I proved them wrong.
Perfect…undead births (hey, wait…who is the father?? Ooo…keep it a mystery…great ratings-grabber), tick *barely * surviving his near-fatal illness. Drama, people…high drama, I tells ya!
Watch out…the widdle one’s a biter, yes she is!
Just like mommy.
Had to save this one from the edge… it was 1 thread away from forever disappearing on page 2.
[internal monologue]My arch nemesis, Lando Griffin, is online!
Respond with something clever![/im]
Ummmm…
What?
Ha! You can’t fool me! You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine!
How’s about gas powered?
Hmm, I suppose so.
<busts out his patented nuclear powered fooling machine, with advanced Trik-U capabilities>
Well, that about wraps this up. Threads over, folks…move along…nothing more to post here…there’s a good fellow…just move it along…
Clothahump wanders in with his usual bewildered look, wearing an Orkin uniform and a large pump on his back.
“Excuse me. Someone called for a threadkiller? Never heard of a thread before, but I’m hell on cockroaches.”
With that, he starts spraying wildly throughout the thread. It begins to twitch and shrivel…
Noooo! Are you insane?? Don’t you know that using insecticide on a thread just causes it to mutate and grow stronger than ever? Ruuuuun!! Run for your lives!!
Leaving the undead harmless and a few cockroaches as the only survivers.
Cockroach brains, anyone?
That’s right, Hal, you keep running!
Here’s hoping that harmless passed out from the fumes. 
Do zombies breathe?