I just want to wish you the best too. I’m sure they have AA meetings in Vegas too.
There are meetings in Vegas…look one up. A close member of my family who travels alot has made it sort of a mission to attend a meeting wherever she is even if it’s another country.
Please don’t wait to start going to meetings. Start today. Some places suggest 90 meetings in 90 days. Any way you do it, if you start today you’ll have some tools in your tool chest to keep you sober while you’re on the trip to Vegas. Look up a meeting there, meetings are only an hour, easy to squeeze in.
Best of luck to you. I’ll be sending sober thoughts your way.
If getting out of the Vegas trip isn’t an option, flat out ask your co-worker to discourage you from drinking. I told all of my friends that if they see me reaching for a drink not to listen to any rationalizing I may try, just kick my ass (figuratively or literally if I were to get really obstinate). They agreed and they meant it. I meant it too.
Also, hit up A.A. while you’re there. I’m sure there are many a traveller that arrive in Vegas and find they need a meeting more than ever.
Tell anyone you trust what you are trying to do and when you get to A.A. get phone numbers. They’re part of your lifeline to staying sober. Anytime you think you might want to drink or are dangerously close to reaching for a bottle, call someone. I cannot stress that enough. CALL SOMEONE. They’ll help you.
The thing that was pointed out to my in my thread about my drinking was that when you ask another recovering alcholic for help, it helps them not drink when they’re helping you not drink. The poster who pointed that out was spot on.
Use any and all resources you can find to help you quit and stay sober. One of the resources is this message board. I meant it when I said you can PM me and there are others here that will be just as glad to be able to help you through this.
Thanks The Chao goes Mu. This morning I did actually admit everything to one of the girls I’m travelling with. She’s being very supportive and actually said pretty much the same thing as you - that she’d help me not drink and wouldn’t drink herself the entire time. She suggested that I tell the two other girls we’re going with so they can be supportive too.
Goind to AA in Vegas isn’t an option I had thought of, actually. I’m going to let my fiance read this when he gets home and ask him what he thinks.
Question AA people - I’ve found a meeting tonight at 8:30 that is Open. Can my fiance come with me then?
I’ve never kicked an addiction so I won’t presume to know what words you need to hear most right now. I just wanted to express my admiration and support for you. Good luck.
Yes he can go with you to the open meetings. Sounds like you have a great fiance and great co-workers. You can do this.
Yes, absolutely. Even newbe’s at a closed meeting will be accepted, especially if it is your first. And Las Vegas has a meeting practically every hour on the hour just look at their website. Plenty of meetings, the ones in the Mirage and Harrahs Hotels are really nice. Only and hour and usually a packed house. I’d recommend a morning meeting to start your day…then just have fun the rest of the day/night.
Thanks guys, I think I’m going to go to my first meeting tonight and the fiance will likely come along.
I agree with all of you, I really am lucky to have him and I don’t know if I could do this without his help and support. He’s my biggest motivation for getting better.
Just want to say how great it is to hear someone who is willing to take responsibility for changing what they want changed in their lives.
Way to go. Stay strong. Hard as it may be to believe, it gets easier and easier just about every day. The first week is by far harder than any week thereafter. And the first month is harder than any month thereafter. So once you have made it a week or a month, why toss that away and put yourself in the position where you need to go thru that again?!
Remember, no matter how much things might seem to suck, and no matter how much power other people might have over various aspects of your life, absolutely no one else is pouring that poison down your throat other than YOU!
Man, your fiance sounds like a keeper! Things will be a lot easier if you concentrate on the good things you have going for you - like him. They are SO MUCH more valuable and longlasting than whatever transient enjoyment you might think you’d derive from a drink.
EmAnJ - just be careful, because you may find your biggest motivation to getting better is yourself…You are numero uno. Please remember that. A lot of the time the spouse is the one who has the biggest problem with the alcoholic quitting. They no longer have to take care of the person, and things will get better for you a lot quicker than they will for him. Take the alcohol out and you still have a lot of things going on, it’s just now you can deal with them sober.
If he stays or goes you still do not have to drink, and that is the fundamental truth in this equation to staying sober.
EmAnJ hang in there, we are all pulling for you.
Truer words were never spoke. I am not strong enough to quit drinking forever, but I don’t need a drink today. I have been doing it that way since October 16, 1997.
I have experience both with treatment and AA. I tried to get sober many times over about a 6 year period, with aa and without. I never did believe that I was powerless, though my life was surely unmanageable.
I landed in a detox center at a social model treatment center on December 7th, 1985. They gave me what had eluded me for years…a real introduction to AA. To stay, I had to read the book (I thought it was the Bible all those years!). Much to my suprise, it was my life story, written before I was born! What they did there was to help break my denial and then point me towards an ongoing recovery support system - AA. It was the end of my good life. Fortunately, it was the FRONT END. I have been an active member of AA since that day, which is my recovery anniversary.
I had some difficulty understanding a lot of the new concepts that were being presented to me. I was lucky enough to be given the book Living Sober (an AA book). It was simple enough for me to understand and make a start.
I hope you are done. My life has continued to get better all these years. I am now truly free.
Best wishes to you. Remember, easy does it.
Regards,
Tim Shea
Sober since 12/07/1985
EmAnJ, I’m glad you’re starting to get help for this. I am not an alcoholic, but mental illness often shares a lot of patterns with alcoholism. (And vice versa) I know just how hard it can be to admit that one has a problem, and to ask for help.
Don’t let yourself listen to your 3 AM thoughts that tell you that trying to change is a mug’s game. They’ll come, no question about it, and the bottle will call to you. Don’t listen. Talk to your SO, your sponsor, Hell, come here and bitch. Keep asking for help, and you’ll find a lot more people than you ever expected will be glad to give it to you.
Good luck and I hope your experience comes to mirror that of Tim Shea.
Boggette & Fear Itself: Way to go! You should be very proud. Seeing what friends and family are going through (I have many examples), it’s a choice that you make every single day, and you’ve made it for thousands of days. So congratulations, and keep up the good work.
I normally don’t engage in the fluffy stuff, but {{{EmAnJ}}}
I’ve only experienced alcoholism from the perspective of one who has to clean the upholstery or give the eulogies, but it still managed to screw up a lot of things in my own life. I agree with what everyone else is saying: take it one day at a time. Celebrate your successes, rely on your loved one(s) and keep going. Don’t psych yourself out by thinking that everyone else is running their lives perfectly and that you’re the only one who’s screwed up. This is a time when you have to just get your own life in order. Alcohol is the biggest problem in your life, and you’ve recognized that, and if you keep plugging away, you will (really and truly) find out that you have a lot more strength than you think.
My only addiction has been to nicotine. Once, at a meeting, I mentioned that I’d quit smoking some ten years earlier. One of the people there said, “Now I suddenly know a lot about you, and what you’re capable of.” (She was also an ex-smoker). That’s just for getting over smoking; you will be a f**king superhero when you look back at several years’ sobriety.
First, congratulations on taking the first step, asking for help. The first step is the hardest, or at least it was for me anyway. The next set of steps are easier than the first but still a lot of work.
Here is my story in SMDB posts.
First Post About Getting Sober
Forth Year Post. (This one is recent)
I can’t seem to find my first year post. Coulda swore I made one. Oh well.
Anyway, you asked for our stories. That is mine in brief message board posts. There is more to it than those posts, obviously, but the main story is there.
Good luck. Give A.A. a serious try. If you don’t like the first meeting, find another one. Most places have a lot of meetings and it may take more than one to find one that fits you.
Slee
EmanJ
How was the meeting? One thing I wanted to say is that some meetings you will like more than others. You may not like the structure of a particular meeting or you may not care for the people and whatnot. Just remember, no matter how irritating some people can be, they’re just like you, they’re sitting in that room because they want to get sober. Always remember that. You’ll like some people and dislike others. Don’t let any of the drama or annoyances get in the way of why you’re there.
You’re there to get sober. Period. You and the guy sitting next you may not get along but that doesn’t mean you’re not helping each other stay sober.
I hope you’re doing well today.
Thanks all!
I am doing better today. I didn’t make the meeting last night, but it was because my fiance finally got ahold of our therapist (she’s out of town) and asked her for advice. She advised that I need to go into in-patient rehab and gave us the first steps. We were on the phone with her for so long was missed the meeting.
However, today at 1 pm I have an admission interview with AADAC (AB Alcohol and Drug something or other) and they’ll place me somewhere, likely for about a month.
We’ve decided to not go through my EAP as they think it might still affect my career (you know how gossip is) so we’re going through a physician who will advise my work that I’m on short term disability and not give any details.
I also told my mom last night. That was hard, but she’s proud of me and happy that I’m taking this step. She also mentioned that, since I come from a family of alcoholics, I will be a great example and maybe help others in my family stop their drinking problems too.
I’m scared and relived and excited.
OK.
You have a plan.
Now follow through TODAY.
I know that sounds tough, but you’ll be battling much tougher things in the coming days, weeks, months and years. As a sponsor I’ve seen far too many folks “excuse themselves” back to the bottle.
Peace out.