My parents got divorced when I was ten in 1999. I lived with my father for two years between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, but other than that I have lived either on my own (since college) or with her. She has always played a larger role in my life than my father has.
My mother believes that the divorce was more his fault than hers, and I agree. It’s not a matter of her poisoning me against him, but a matter of knowing both of them and knowing that my mother’s maturity level is at least a standard deviation greater than his.
My mother is an intelligent woman. She is the nicest mother I could have ever asked for. She gets pissed at me about once every six months. Her tastes in art and music are great, and she really knows how to have fun. She loves watching Star Trek and the X-files. We used to watch movies while eating cookies.
She also looks very good for her age (she’s fifty-four now). She has been using online dating systems (match.com and eHarmony) since 2003. She has had dates with many men and long-term relationships with two, but things never really worked out in the long run. She’s met a lot of creeps over the internet, and a lot of men that seem insecure.
I really hope she finds a good man. She’s going on perhaps her third date with a nerdy guy who likes war games. She says he seems really nice and mature. But even if this doesn’t work out, I just hope she finds somebody that she can enjoy her life with and maybe grow old with. She deserves somebody who isn’t a creep.
My mom died when my Dad was 60. He eventually started dating and wound up in a LTR with a wonderful lady. I think your mom stands a good chance of finding someone to “grow old with”.
OTOH, you know, sometimes it’s okay not to. If she’s been on her own for ten years, she may do just fine staying single forever.
The Bith Shuffle, as a single mother of a teenaged son, I have to say that I think that is so sweet, for you to express that sentiment. There are so many feelings that occur for a woman in this position – guilt because you wanted to set a good example of a loving relationship, sadness, loneliness, despair sometimes too. You sound like wonderful person whose mom did a really good job. I wish her the very best luck in her search, and perhaps it’ll rub off on me!
My mother got divorced when I was about nine years old, and passed away a little after my 18th birthday- she was 53 at the time. In all that time, I can only remember her going on one, maybe two dates. That saddens me to this day.
My mom was 48 when she became a widow with 5 kids ranging in age from late twenties to me at the age of nine. she had been married twenty seven years, I think, at the time when it happened.
She has never dated. She’s too picky. She wants one that is very rich and very old. She is extremely active and keeps busy with her art stuff and taking all her old geezer friends to the doctor’s appointments.
She is 83 and has a cat. when she talks about her cat it is like I, her sweet angel baby daughter, has been replaced. ( Actually, I was replaced when I married my husband. He’s the bee’s knees to her and I became yesterdays newspaper. Now the cat has usurped his position.)
You’re a good son for wanting this for her–she’s a lucky mom.
A couple of stories to make you feel good:
My twice-divorced mom met a man at work 15 years ago and they’re still together. They’re not married (he’s been divorced once), but they live together and are very happy aside from the usual couple issues. She’s 61.
I have a good friend who was in a terrible marriage. After her divorce she dated a few men she met online and then fell head-over-heels. She’s now married and, as her daughter puts it, living in la-la-love land. She was 48 when she met him.
