I think this kind of dancing is an art. Good for them.
Why wouldn’t this story be true?
Are people under the impression that a strip club is the same thing as a brothel? Because, as a general rule, you can’t have sex with the strippers. In fact, in many strip clubs, you aren’t allowed to even touch the strippers during a lap dance. I mean your lap can touch them obviously, but not your hands.
He straight up told me he grabbed her ass so there was physical contact other than her bottom and his lap touching. And it was not a brothel. Maybe it wasn’t a private room then?
It’s just gross thinking of him touching another woman.
And keeping it from me of course. His “white lie.”
I suppose you’re right. I would have done the same thing if he told me that. Maybe years ago, after being controlled continuously. I don’t tell him what to do EVER. Except for this one time cause I knew it would mess me up mentally.
Because over the two decades this board has been in business, literally hundreds of people have come in here with an emotional story of a personal crisis, sucked as much compassion and sympathy out of us as they could, and then either disappeared and were never heard from again, or revealed to be out and out frauds.
I’m not saying you’re one of those people, but don’t be surprised if some people believe you are.
Interesting.
Talk to your husband openly and try to get him so see how much this hurts you and how betrayed (my words) you feel. Don’t start off by blaming him, but rather tell him how what happened has makes you feel about him, about you as a couple and about yourself. If he loves you and wants to make it work he will be unlikely to do such a thing again and try what he can to repair the damage done. Or maybe hearing his side of the story more will make you understand it from his side. Who knows. But if at the end of the day he can’t empathise with how you feel, then maybe its a sign for you.
Unless you are both total teenage virgins, this attitude is gonna be a problem for you.
It’s a darn good bet both of you have some sexual history from *before *marriage. Now that you’re married there’s an expectation of exclusivity going forward. But it isn’t retroactive.
So banish that garbage thinking from your head. Because if you don’t you will drive yourself batty with jealousy over all sorts of innocuous things that will happen. That time he smiles innocently at some waitress and you decide, mistakenly, that it’s flirting. etc.
It won’t take too much for you to convince yourself that he’s totally cheating. When he’s not. And if you treat him that way, real quickly he’s gonna decide that your shit ain’t worth his time.
Men often get infatuated with crazy. They rarely stick around for long once they see the crazy.
So don’t be crazy.
Your later posts sound like a much more reasonable person than the stream of consciousness emoto-dump of your first post. Up until the one-liner I quoted above.
Learning how to be a team of two against the world, rather than two solos competing to control the other, is a difficult transition. But the results are very, very worth it. Don’t start your marriage by poisoning your shared well over something that predates the marriage.
My relationship creds? Married 29+ years, went together 5 years before that. Still waiting to have my first argument with her. Life’s much better when you’re a trusting and trustworthy person; a team of two such people is unbeatable. And a whole lot of fun. Enjoy it.
“Why am I itching Down There?” Let him make the connection, NO MATTER WHAT HE DID! Let him make the connection. Guilt is a marvelous tool in a marriage. 
Kid (my bro is 60 and I still call him bro), you’ve fallen into a raft of grammar Nazis, but we still love ya!
And it is. Thousands of years old. Don’t care to go on now, but yeah.
Been there, tried to make the best of it. 
Kid, this has all been interesting. We older farts can gently chortle at your experience. Younger ones might commiserate, or might be assholes.
Advice: Always discuss money matters buck naked …
AND! Others may suggest that this is a lousy place to talk, but:
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One should NEVER start a sentence with a conjunction, a rule I’ve ignored longer than you’ve been alive, and
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We don’t know you, nor your husband, and can TRY to be impartial. As you get older you will find the value of impartial views.
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Ignore the nay-sayers; I have for 17 year
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Some of us are happy to help, and you can tell who isn’t.
Racist.:mad:
You went to the club and bribed or threatened the strippers??? That takes ovaries. Big brass ones.
So …
Many years ago (not quite 30 years ago, but getting close), I had a stag party. It was a small affair - my best man, two friends from church, maybe one friend from school, and H. I had known H from my early teens, and he was the wild one in our youth group. His arrival was a bit of a surprise, but he had plans.
After the meal my best man had organised, we had a few drinks. H plied me with excessive alcohol (maybe 3 drinks - I was and always will be a lightweight).
Anyhow, at some point H suggested adjourning to the local strip club. My best man was hesitant, but my fiance had been on her hen night earlier, and had ended up at a nightclub that included male and female strippers, so he reluctantly acquiesced. I think my church friends stayed with me to protect my honor - some help they turned out to be. I should add that I had never been to a strip club, and really had no intention of ever going - I was a clean living lad at the time. Still am, somewhat.
During the journey to the rough end of the 'Tron, I suddenly found myself wearing a ball and chain, and we entered the strip club. We had a few light drinks (the club only served beer), but as the chained stag I could not avoid attention. I was eventually dragged up on stage, and having accidentally won some sort of game against another patron (the nature of which I cannot remember) I found myself on the podium with two of the strippers.
I went along with it for a bit, losing my shoes, shirt and trousers as time went by. I kept my hands to myself, and I was determined to retain my at least some of my dignity, along with my undergarment. Alas, the strippers hands were quicker than mine, and I suddenly felt a strong breeze in the nether regions, as well as the harsh glare of the brightest spot on the club. So I was on stage, naked as the day I was born (but less slimy), and two strippers (without any physical contact) were doing their best to get a “reaction” from me.
Fortunately for all, I apparently exhibited admirable self-control, and unable to get a “rise” the dance soon ended, and I was free to recover my clothes. Sadly, my underpants were never found, and my best man was compelled by guilt to replace them the next day.
At the end of the evening, I had to stop by my fiance’s place to get some new clothes (and extra underwear) before heading back to mine for the last few nights before the wedding. After prompting, I had to explain the reason for my commando state, which didn’t go down too well. However, my friends rose to my defense by praising my passiveness under extreme duress, and I was forgiven. However, it has never been forgotten, and my wife still throws it at me when it suits her to gain an advantage.
Somehow, the ability to come home from a night out with ALL your clothes is apparently a virtue :smack:
The point of the story is that such things can and do happen, usually with no specific intent. As long as there is no harm, sometimes the foul needs to be overlooked.
I was beating myself up over the outcome, I didn’t need my fiance adding to my guilt.
Also, time passes, and annoyance transitions to amusement, and eventually downright mockery, and I came to realise it wasn’t a big deal in the scheme of things.
My wife certainly does not think so.
Thank you everyone. I appreciate everyone’s response. Positive or negative. Got many laughs at the negatives, so I can’t complain. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
And experiences.
Women can find out anything if they’re looking or not.