It went BLAM!? :eek:
Don’t they all?
“Man, we really ought to get that squeaky floorboard fixed.”
I DID THAT. THAT ONE’S MINE.
You gotta own that shit.
Thanks Dung Beetle. This has made me giggle like a drunk moron.
Fortunately, I can snap myself out of such puerile behaviour.
And start again.
By the way, StusBlues, next time it happens, put on the Fire Warden’s hat and light it. You’ll be satisfied, and so will OH&S.
You must exile yourself from humanity, never to return.
The night that Abu Hasan farted.
(This story doesn’t make sense unless it’s viewed in the appropriate context. What people who tell this story always fail to mention is that Bedouins of this time period considered farting in public a social faux pas tantamount to what being revealed as a kiddy diddler is in this culture.)
I almost let one rip yesterday. I was able to tuck it back in. But if I would of been in a straining motion I.E. getting up from my chair I would of tooted.
If women were present I’d apologize probably turn red and try to make a joke out of it. But fart’n around men never gets old. The noise in the bathroom is laughed off as a game of Battleshits when two or more are present.
That’s what lab fume hoods are for.
OMG, I laughed throughout this entire thread. I can’t WAIT to fart at work again!
I just turn up the radio to cover the smell.
I fart all the time at work…everyone knows and they accept me for who I am.
I can only hope you are a French Bulldog with outstanding keyboard skills, festiva76.
Or that you do clinical studies for a charcoal capsule manufacturer.
“That’s going to itch when it dries”
Hey, Inner Stickler, it isn’t loud enough. Turn it all the way up.
I’m just stunned that the OP farts so infrequently that he/she hasn’t done it at work before, and thinks this rare level of farting requires a nutritionist and a diet change! Since my gastric bypass, passing gas is much more frequent, and occasionally too fragrant. I keep a mini-bottle of air freshener handy for those inevitable moments, which my boss teases me about but appreciates (we also use it after the homeless guys walk through). But even before the surgery…gas happens. Follow Miss Manners advice, or just say, “so sorry…excuse me”!
I’m so glad I have my own office. I can usually hold it in if I’m elsewhere.
Damn it people! This thread just made me snort out loud in my library! Can I use the same lines in this case?
We’re gonna need a new thread just for fart jokes.
The BEST way of handling the inevitable was done by a young woman, who fanned herself and said, “Oh, I have gas, excuse me.”
I thought that was perfect.
But I simply don’t have the nerve to be that honest and bold.
~VOW
My exhusband once worked in an all male office. One of his coworkers would walk from one end of the room to the other farting all the way. They nicknamed him Moose (obvious reasons).
One day his supervisor had enough of him and said, ‘Geeze Moose. What if there were women present?’
Moose looked serious for a moment then replied, ‘Nah, a woman couldn’t do as well as that.’
I prefer the Achewood Ray Smuckles exclamation:
“DAAAMN! SOMEBODY JUST STEP ON A BURRITO AT THIS PLACE?”
…but seriously, the Miss Manners advice is the best in a professional workplace. IT NEVER HAPPENED, AND NOBODY SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE IT.
