There’s no business like show business, but there’s no job like a blowjob.
Is that one of the sex things you can do before breakfast?
Sex like a game of bridge – if you have a good hand, you don’t need a partner.
But bridge is a four-handed game.
You mean to do it well you should have foreplay?
Foreplay, aka 30 minutes of begging.
My wife was just begging me to stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe.
Is today gonna be the day,
That we throw this thread back into play?
I’ll try to thread the needle.
I think my wife’s sewing machine is on the blink. Not sure what’s wrong, it just doesn’t seam right.
Ahem!
Zip it!
I come from a very musical family. Even the sewing machine’s a Singer.
Did you hear about the pharmacist who tried to tailor a pair of pants? It went pretty well, but there was an ointment in the fly.
Did you hear about the pig who developed a rash? He needed some oinkment.
That pig sounds very porkuliar.
He was. Not content to settle for water, he asked for swine to accompany his meal.
I bet he went whole hog.
Not him so much as one of his friends, who eventually got made into bacon because he was rasher.
I read a story about pig anatomy. It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.