I like bananas a bunch

Sounds like shellacked nothing.

She had a magic act, where her assistant varnished into thin air.

You may think she was rather plane, but you should have seen her when she was hammered.

I remember her. I saw her a few times.

The tongues of mocking wrenches are as keen
As is the razor’s edge invisible”
.

-Wm. Shakespeare

I used to shave my testicles with a straight razor. Nowadays I lack the balls to do so.

Them razorbacks are scar—y

Really? I find them rather boaring.

Reincarnation really is a thing. I used to be a wild dog, but now I’m a massive boar.

In college I took a course on reincarnation. It seemed like a waste of money but hey, you only live once.

My insurance company refused to pay my medical bill because I believe in reincarnation. They said I had a pre-existing condition.

I had a whole bunch of “incarnation” jokes on file, but for a while I couldn’t find 'em. They were in my Prom Jokes folder under “Re: Pink Carnation.”

I faked my grades all through high school and in the end I was voted the invalidictorian.

In high school I once got in trouble for making quips in between classes. Yes, I was sent to the principal for punning in the hallway.

I_G tried to stay within the rules by punning in the gym, but his school gym lacked the quipment.

Never mind. E did okay.