I try not to talk about my time in strip clubs. It always brings up bad mammaries.
I once saw a strip bar’s bouncer throw the house band’s guitar player out because he broke a G-string.
Guy brought a reindeer to a strip club because he thought they had Lapp dancers.
I quit my first job as a bartender in a strip club. Because I hated working hard.
One strip bar wanted its dancers to dance on the bar, right next to the beer tap. The dancers refused, because that location was too drafty.
Möbius strippers never show their backsides.
A friend and I were fighting over a Mobius strip. I said there’s no reason to argue about this, we’re both on the same side.
Two people are reputed to have independently invented the Möbius strip. They are each given a fourth of the credit.
The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.
Mumford Augustus, president and CEO of the Cinemark Theater chain died unexpectedly after a long illness. Visitation will be at 12:00, 2:45, 3:30, and 7:00.
… and the 7:00 viewing will be in 3-D.
I hear the funerary music will be done by that great decomposer, Ennio Morricone.
I just got back from the funeral of my 82-year-old neighbor, who died after falling off his roof when fixing his TV antenna. The funeral was sad, but the reception was excellent.
Wasn’t his wife’s name Ariel?
She was quite the dish.
I got charged for a satellite dish the other day, and boy was I furious. He told me it’d be on the house.
Those satellite dishes are a waste of space.
They say space is infinite. Finite must be pretty huge if all space is in it.
Stephen Hawkings’ last paper on space is finally going to published posthumously. It’s about time too.
6:30 is the best time of day, hands down.