I like bananas a bunch

I have no problem with people smoking weed. But I draw the line with cocaine.

I rarely find cocaine jokes funny, but occasionally a one-liner makes me snort.

The occasional cocaine joke will crack me up.

I think they all blow.

I knew a guy who smuggled cocaine up his butt. He was shitting bricks.

People often ask me how I manage to smuggle candy bars into movie theatres.

Let’s just say, I have a few Twix up my sleeve…

Twix has been getting too political. I mean, there’s a Left Twix and a Right Twix.

I told the wife she could have the safe deposit box with the five hundred grand if we ever got divorced. She got really excited about those candy bars.

Your last post made me Snicker.

Yeah, Siam_Sam is a real Smartie pants.

We don’t see that brand of sugar discs here in this Necco the woods.

I remember when you could walk into a store with a quarter and walk out with a can of Coke and a candy bar. But nowadays they have cameras everywhere.

That wasn’t very punny.

I had the best ice pun to tell you, but it slipped my mind.

I had the best airplane pun to tell you but it will just go over your head.

Seamen never laugh at my puns. They’re just too littoral.