I like bananas a bunch

You’re not gonna believe all those lice he tells you, are you?

When you make lice crispy, they go snap, crackle and pop.

You may find lice in stocking hats because they are really into nitting.

My wife made me a winter hat that had a bit of yarn sticking out, but I’m not going to knit pick.

The town of Aspartame is a well-known locale.

You don’t have to sugar coat it.

Okay, but y’know, that one was sweet!

My diabetic father would never have visited town of Aspartame because never the twain shall sweet.

If you leave the town of Aspartame, you’ll not find its Equal.

Oh, no. You guys aren’t saccharine me into this one.

Some of these posts are just Splenda.

Molasses is separated from cane sugar by spinning cane syrup in a giant centrifuge. It’s a viscous cycle.

My friend recently worked at a sugar refinery until his position was dissolved.

I had a friend who worked in a lab studying amoebas until his position got absorbed.

You know how amoebas communicate?

Cell phones.

I was having sex when I got a phone call from my friend saying there was an emergency. Told him I was coming as fast as I could.

Abbot and Costello once toured with The Who. At the beginning of the tour they flipped a coin to decide which act closed the show and which one opened. Who was on first.

I heard Roger Daltry was just arrested. I bet he’s in real treble.

Who’d they have on first bass?

To see who was on first bass you should look at the pitcher.