It’s nice when people enjoy their work, but hopefully no one gets too fired up when they’re cleaning chimneys.
If there’s one thing America needs, it’s a new approach to hearthcare.
Yes, especially mantel hearthcare.
I was asked, how can I hide that dirty hearth from my guests? I said, it’s a cinder – tell a lie.
My chimney stopped smoking, I think it has hearth disease.
One day in a Kansas tornado Dorothy said a chimney just flew away.
Chimney Flicket
One time I heard Santa coughing while he was coming down the chimney. Sounded like he was coming down with something.
Maybe he caught the flue.
When he came down the chimney he was extra warm because of the Canadian filling of his jacket. Plus he had to duck to avoid hitting his head on the roof.
There is a chance yule log in some time near a fireplace next winter.
Whenever I order Yule logs in the mail I end up returning them to cinder.
Christmas puns always sleigh me.
No more Christmas puns! I repeat, in Spanglish, X-mas!
No? Well, OK then.
I hate this Christmas keyboard, it has no L.
No L? How about heavy-N?
Every calendar’s days are Numbered!
Felix to the Cop at the poker table re using a coaster: memento, Murray.
My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but then I realized she just wanted to do laundry. So I folded.