I like bananas a bunch

Ohm my!

Eau My!

Ωi: [Ohm i]: proposed unit of imaginary impedance.

OK, it’s a nerd joke. So sue me.

Four out of five dads applaud your effort.

You really have to give a round of applause to high jump officials. They keep raising the bar.

Telling high jumpers to warm up before an event is a bit of a stretch.

Frosty The Snowman had to quit athletics. He couldn’t make it through warm ups without feeling totally drained.

Wasn’t Frosty the Snowman penalized in a hockey game for icing?

He always was pretty flaky.

No, no, it was the Atkins diet guy who got penalized for icing.

I certainly desserted my diet when I ate that cake.

I threw out 3 bananas yesterday because they were icky, and I’ve just thrown out another two today. … I just felt I had to say this because I feel guilty and wasteful. On the other hand, I’m probably feeding maggots and bacteria, so I am contributing to the ecosystem, right?

Obviously your maggot-feeding guilt is eating you up inside.

That kind of guilt leaves me hollow.

I tried to steal a window but the guilt was overwhelming.

I could not take the pane.

I thought of getting a job fixing windows, but it seemed too silly.

When picking a window shade, I always choose Venetian styles. Those are the blinds that tie a room together.

Those are the ones on display at the Musee de Louvres.

I saw in the paper an Origami Museum opened, but shortly thereafter it folded.

I went to the postcard museum last week but it’s nothing to write home about.