At a traditional Scottish wedding the groom’s in a kilt and tartan’s a white dress.
The day my wife and I got married was so emotional that even the cake was in tiers.
I’ve been busy making a belt of watches, but it was a waist of time.
Because the doctor told you to watch your waistline?
You could try on Orion’s belt but I think that would be a waist of space.
Taking Orion’s belt could get you into Sirius trouble.
Taking asteroid shot might help.
Ask yourself if internal monologues are right for you
I told my psychiatrist that I’ve been hearing voices in my head.
He told me that I don’t have a psychiatrist.
I dreamed I was speaking to cows, but no one herd me.
Maybe you needed to moove a little closer.
Or perhaps switch to decalf.
I fought off invaders in a pasture, and they awarded me a meadow of honor.
Clearly you were outstanding in your field.
Those Holsteins see everything in black and white. You’d think a cow would appreciate the graze.
In an ironic twist, I was also awarded the No Bull Peace Prize.
What’s a metaphor?
It’s a place where cows graze.
You deserve a patty on your back.
But what have you bun for us, lately?
I guess that’s just the way he rolls.