Xavier Midnight
Honeysuckle Beesly
Now all these great names from the Sifl & Olly show are coming back to me. Let’s see, there’s:
Aesop Jones
Jargon Scott
Chachi Longbow
Delixir Sorbaño
Dr. Vernon Merble
Rex Morgan, Night Golfer
Professor Armsholder Shoozenshorts
I don’t think I’m going to have much of a porn career as ‘Arf Bogue’.
That said, it’s yours if you wish it.
At our last house we lived near the corner of Regis St. and Bucktrout Ave., one day while driving past the sign I realized that Regis Bucktrout might be the greatest pseudonym ever. Since I have never needed to use it, I bequeath it unto you.
T. Bone
That’s Tarquin Fin Tin Lin Bin Wim Bim Lim Bus Stop F’tang F’Tang Olé Biscuitbarrel to you, sonny.
My personal false name that I use all the time in video games and such is Hondo Botswana. That’s what I’d change my username to if I hadn’t used up my one shot already.
Please tell me Arf was a cat.
Please tell me you did that from memory.
But of course!
My porn name would be Fluffy Silverdale, but a friend of mine is Pussy Buddibent.
I like it. Made me think of Snake Plisskin.
Scrappy Manchester at your service here.
Mine would be Sunshine Pleasant. Looks like I will have to do gay porn.
Hell Cat Parr. w00t.
I respectfully submit the following:
Slab Bulkhead
Fridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Bold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Trunk Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefgnaw
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Chunkman
Dirk Hardpeck
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Rip Sidecheek
Punch Sideiron
Gristle McThornBody
Slake Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Bob Johnson
Blast Thickneck
Crunch Buttsteak
Slab Squatthrust
Lump Beefrock
Touch Rustrod
Reef Blastbody
Big McLargeHuge
Smoke Manmuscle
Beat Punchbeef
Pack Blowfist
Roll Fizzlebeef
Lakshmere Bo-Kent
Jerry Don Gleato
Brock Redtit
Crap Nelson
Shimly Poopeck (pronounced Shimmel-ly Poo Peck) great when a secretary asks who’s calling.
Fanzio Berrachetti
Throckmorton P. Guldilerfink
Hen3ry (the 3 is silent)(which Tom Lehrer song is that from?)
Please let us know your choice.
I think my ‘porn name’ would work out to “Fuzz-Buzz Route 286.” Which is… not sexy. Additionally, if the pet name carries any weight in that equation, I think I’d be limited to incontinence porn. And no thank you, I don’t need any links seeking to prove what a potentially lucrative subgenre that is.
I’m frankly dubious that it’s even possible to outclass the name “Nighttrain Calhoun.” Let’s face it: no matter how tough or competent you are, sooner or later you’re going to find yourself at a point in your life so low that your only option is to seek out the advice of Nighttrain Calhoun.
Right off the top of my head, the very first thing that came to mind:
Scotty McGinkel
When asked for a name for no good reason by websites, I typically give Poop Doodoo. Ms. Doodoo is female, and was born January 1, 1900.
I once had a subscription to Macworld in the name of Utter Poppycock.
W. C. Fields liked **Charles Bogle ** because “It has a hint of incompetence to it.”
I like
A. Fortiori
Barbara Seville
Sarcophagus MacAbre
Oofy Prosser
Nor me as Charlie Sunflower.
Actually, now that I think about it…