I was just turned on to this by our Doper friend zweisamkeit.
Here’s what you do: go to Google and type in “[your name] needs” (for example, mine is “Angelique needs”). Then search and post the funny Real names or Doper handles are all good.
Me (comments in italics):
Angelique needs lessons in how to be a subservient lover
Angelique needs a game, maybe Chutes & Ladders or something like that.Finally, something I can really get behind!
Auntie Angelique needs to stop
Angelique needs to be here by 11:45
**
Angelique needs** a new printer in her office for gaming
Angelique needs to be translated
Angelique needs a sanctuary until I can find her family.
Angelique needs you! *Oh yeah, how YOU doin, Straight Dope? *
Angelique needs immediate medical attention
**
Angelique needs** a rest after St Patricks Day
Angelique needs Quentin alive for her own plans so she puts a voodoo Curse on him and he rises from The coffin as a zombie (From Dark Shadows. That’s the Angelique that I’m actually named after!)
**Angelique needs ** a brooch to cast an evil spell. Again- Dark Shadows
*And that’s just what Caroline needs most at the moment. Caroline has become his
private pet project. *
Caroline needs to calculate an hourly heat input rate for her natural gas…
When Caroline breaks the sad news of her fiancé’s treachery to her mother, her mother claims that Caroline needs to try harder to make the Marquis desire her in a way only a woman can. But sadly, Caroline doesn’t know a stitch about lovemaking… so she seeks Braden for help…
Now Caroline needs an MRI every year for the rest of her life. The chance of
reoccurrence of the tumor is 20%. Her attitude on life is good and she feels …
I guess I’ll post mine, then. Unfortunately, with the first name of Lindsay, I got a lot of Lindsay Lohan quotes, even when searching with “Lindsay needs” -Lohan. So here’s a bit of effort:
Lindsay needs to solve a crime over 440 years after the fact. Sweet. I’ll get right on it!
Lindsay needs Harrison’s help to escape from a life trapped in a bad sexual harassment training video.
Lindsay needs to make sewer treatment plant and collection improvements in order to comply with the law and provided needed capacity. Uh, wow.
Lindsay needs no introduction.
Lindsay needs to go back where she came from.
Lindsay needs to come back. Make up your mind!
Lindsay needs to watch that, because obsessive-compulsive overachievers always end up in rehab once they get a hold of some whiskey, pills, or blow.
Lindsay needs help, professional help, but she isn’t going to get anything from me.
Yeah, like Lindsay needs to be reminded of her hotness.
Now, Jim needs to make sure that there is enough ice and soda to serve the 80000
screaming fans…
Jim needs some change and gets an eye-dea!
James Needs, Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell, Captain Kronos: Vampire
Hunter, Dracula AD 1972, Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde, The Scars of Dracula, … [that *does *sound like me…]
“I would say that HAL needs to have some training in the customer service department”
“Good album, but Hal needs to let loose a little more.”
“HAL needs to do something to bring in younger customers.”
I’m screwed, real-name-wise. A search of “Paul needs” brings up a crapload of hits about…Paul Needs! Apparently, he’s a popular Welsh musician. Ah well.
Drew needs time.
We all know that Drew needs time to throw.
Drew needs to embrace the new types of preventative and emergency steps it
can take.
Drew needs lots of love and affection.
Drew needs to know: If you had your choice would you pick Virginia or San Antonio?
Drew needs emotional security.
Drew needs a ride to go to Home Depot to get Paint.
Drew needs to put a character limit on peoples accounts.
Drew needs the timber on Olivia’s land in order to supply his sawmill.
Primarily, though,
Drew needs sex.
Meanwhile, drewbert would strongly disagree with the Google’s conclusion that he doesn’t need anything.
Ben needs to learn to Play Purposefully with Toys.
They think Ben needs to talk with a professional counselor about his problems.
Ben needs to use lambda to make a procedure
Ben needs to add another base case to handle non-even numbers
Ben needs special owners who have had experience with shy and nervous dogs.
Ben needs your vote!
Until we can fix the problem, if Ben needs to pass strings longer than 67,784,
he is going to have to fetch them from the macro.
No hits for “Mbossa needs”
I only got 4 good hits from the first 20 pages I looked through.
Rick needs bail money. This was the number one page. I didn’t even know I was in jail :eek: Rick needs to be cloned. Cool Rick (James) needs your coke. I actually prefer Diet Coke. Rick needs help. Can’t really argue with that one.
Gillian needs to mate. Going through heat for the first time, she needs to conceive, since her race is becoming extinct. But when her mentor brings her a …
… what she has done and Melina decides Gillian needs a night on the town. …Jem Hennings, she decides that Gillian needs a change and talks her into…
Gillian needs to step back. This is going to get worse before it gets better. Who knows who Jase Webber is going to go after next," Slade lit up a cigarette…
Note: Gillian Mueller and her limb-lengthening surgery were featured in the
…Since this procedure is not done until adolescence, any child needs to grow…
No more television for Gillian. Gillian needs to make movies. Lots and lots of wonderful movies. ~Old Blogger Stuff~ | Cat Connor | 20 Feb, 2001. Comments …
tee hee …this is the stuff that makes me love this board… I never would have thought this up on my own… hmmm.
(very first one)Jennifer Needs A Cold Shower well… I need a shower, but cold??
a title
Jennifer needs time to heal
Jennifer needs a tutor who can help a client with their Probability Exam
Jennifer needs space
jennifer needs prayers for strength to resolve many problem thank you
Jennifer needs to keep on improving
Jennifer needs to get away
Jennifer needs to know your new address to re-subscribe you
Jennifer needs the earth energy in her life to learn how to ground and be more
practical
Jennifer needs help
Jennifer needs to be charged for her crime
Keep in mind, I share the same name as Jennifer Aniston, and Jennifer Wilbanks (runaway bride)… so duh. Although a lot of them were pretty accurate… not the crime one though.
Real names or Doper handles are all good.
*
