So my lovely wife is going off to Las Vegas this weekend with her sister to enjoy sun and slots, leaving me at home by my lonesome, counting the days until she gets home.
I can’t wait.
As such, a friend and I are going to spend a day with a DVD player; an LCD projecter; beer; Taco Bell; and pork rinds, watching Movies That Have No Social Redeeming Value (except of course, The Two Towers).
Thus far, we’ve definitely picked:
Caddyshack
Lair of the White Worm
The Two Towers
A couple of others are in the running, but we’re starting to cross the line into Movies That Make You Think, and we can’t have that. For some reason or another, as soon as we start thinking of really cheesy movies that we’d love to see, all we can think of are ones we’ve seen.
Help me out here, folks. Don’t let this weekend go to waste.
There’s a movie called “Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins” which is one of the smartest brainless movies I’ve seen. Fred Ward plays a policeman who is recruited by a super-secret government agency. Joel Grey is hilarious as the martial arts master who trains him.
If you really want one that will suck your brain out of your head and give you absolutely nothing in return for over 90 minutes of your life, there’s nothing finer than Instant Justice which deserves its own category of schlock. Just be wary of being around anything you might be tempted to use to put yourself out of your misery.
We’ve added Amazon Women on the Moon and This is Spinal Tap; neither of us has seen them in something like 15 years. Good picks!
I’m Gonna Git You, Sucka; Remo Williams; The Big Lebowski and Dude, Where’s My Car? were all contenders as well, but all three have been seen recently or too many times to be considered.
Gotta tell you Zeldar and fishcheer15…those movies look absolutely awful.
And on preview, there’s more that I’ve got to go through. This is great. I can feel my arteries hardening and my brain atrophying already…
You probably picked wisely, as those two (AWOTM and TIST) will at least repay your time with some guffaws and snickers.
Save Instant Justice for that day when you feel nothing can go wrong, and you’re ten feet off the ground and giddy with life and happiness. That’s the right time for Instant Justice. That way you can survive it and not have to resort to CPR or 911.
The Transporter and Tomb Raider are both fun movies, as long as you don’t think about them. In fact, they become significantly worse if you do bother to think about them! The Transporter, for example, has a plot hole you could literally drive a truck through.
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