“lisa, you and your stories, … beer kills brain cells”
“now lets go to that place where our beds and tv is”
(i didnt remember the whole thing)
Chief’s Domain - http://www.seas.ucla.edu/~ravi
Homer: “Aww, twenty dollars!? I wanted a peanut!”
Brain: “Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!”
Homer: “Explain how!”
Brain: “Money can be exchanged for goods and services.”
Homer: “Woo-hoo!”
“War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.”
Groundskeeper Willy teaching french class:
“Bon Jourrrrrrr! Ya cheese eatin’ surender monkeys!”
And
I for one welcome our new insect overlords… - K. Brockman
“I wasn’t even there, I was golfing!”
Homer: Alone! I’m alone! I’m a lonely insignificant speck on a has-been planet orbited by a cold, indifferent sun!
Comicbook-store-guy being wheelbarrowed into the emergency room:
“Ohhhhh, lonliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix!”
Sweet Basil
“Here’s a ball. Perhaps you’d like to bounce it.”
“What’s the cure for disillusionment, Charlie Brown?”
“A chocolate cream and a friendly pat on the back.”
Rilchiam, cool obscure quote!
“You’re pushing me, baby!”
“Go banana!”
“Mmmmmmm…memo.”
Homer: “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!”
Check out my site:
[http://www.seas.ucla.edu/~ravi](Chief’s Domain)
Grandpa: “I wore an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time…”
“I get the meat and the cheese, but why the bun?”
“Yeah, a bun is neither meat nor cheese.”
“Word!”
Lisa: Dad, something terrible’s happened.
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Lisa and Bart: No.
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa and Bart: Yes.
Homer: But the car’s okay?
" I guess you won’t be needing THIS anymore "
Neighbor girl who Bart has a crush on after telling Bart she has a boyfriend. She says this as she reaches into Bart’s chest and removes his heart, kicking it into a trash can.
Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.
From the first Halloween special:
“This family’s had our differences and we’ve squabbled, but we’ve never had knife fights! And I blame this house.”
“Hey cut it out Homer! C’mon, quit eating me!”
I’m not a fallen angel, I’m a risen demon.
best episode: Lisa needs braces and Homer heads the union at work.
“smile little girl, I bet you have a beautiful smile” Lisa smiles with retainer on " AH! there is no god!"
Peter Frampton :“I got that pig at Pink Floyd’s yard sale”
Grandpa, running in with a stake-" We have to kill the boy!" :“Grandpa, how did you know he’s a vampire?” " hes a vampire? ahhhh!" and he runs out
“Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose – it’s how drunk you get.”
Oh, look at me! I’m making people happy! I’m the magical man from Happyland in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!
Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.
My favorite: Bart is working at the Springfield burlesque house, and Homer sits at home with two TV dinner trays.
Homer: “Where’s Bart? His dinner’s getting all cold, and eaten.” (takes a bite from Bart’s tray).
I finally added a signature quote from the patron saint of medical students. . .
Dr. J
“Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want!” -Dr. Nick Riviera
The frightening, scary, even “Bartesque” take on Disney’s “It’s A Small World” Ride. My hephew continues to sing:
DOLLS: "Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you. I’ll have a Duff. You have one, too. Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you…(continues)
BART: (scared) I want off!
My fate keeps getting in the way of my destiny.
Comic Book Store Guy after Bart says something obvious:
“Ooh, your powers of deduction are exceptional! I simply can’t allow you to waste them here, when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment. Go! Go! For the good of the city!”
Homer: Don’t eat me, I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
Homer: Facts, schmatcs, you can use facts to prove anything that is remotely true.
Homer: Look at this Bible, it cost me fifteen bucks, and talk about a preachy book, sheesh, everybody’s a sinner. And there’s this one guy…
Lisa: But Dad, you’re giving in to mob mentality.
Homer: No I’m not Lisa, I’m just jumping on the bandwagon.
Marge: Oh Homer, you’re only hearing what you want to hear.
Homer: Gee, an omlete sounds fine right about now.
Bart: Oh boy, the Fireworks, Candy and Puppydog store!
Bart: Cool! I want to be around when all of these guns start going off.
Homer: Now give me some inner peace, or I’ll mop the floor with you.
Montgomery Burns’ son:
(Played by Rodney Dangerfield)
Wow, this guy has more bread than a prison meatloaf.
Burns: Ethical business practices? Yes, that’s just the sort of radical new thinking we need around here.
Burns: Doughnut? I told you I don’t like ethnic food.
The Stonecutter’s Drinking Song:
(Spoof on the Freemasons)
Who controls the English crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do… We do.
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do… We do.
Who holds back the electric car?
Who made Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do… We do.
Who made the Kingfish lose his sight?
Who rigs every oscar night?
We do… We do…
Also: The Minnesota Spankological Protocol
Note: In Hollyweird, being a voice on the Simpsons is considered a ne plus ultra for the in crowd.
Please feel free to post at my “new” Simpsons thread:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=35194
Okay, I got too many to list, but I’ll go through a few of my faves.
Skinner: Willy, the children are getting overstimulated. Take all the colored chalk out of the rooms.
Willy: I TOLD YE! That chalk was the work of LUCIFER himself!
Ralph: This is where I saw the leprachaun. He tells me to BURN things.
Marge: I just thought I would fill the house with the rich, full smell of tobacco.
Lisa, standing by a rickety boat on a raging river.
Lisa: Are you sure this is safe?
Counselor Dolf: Yeah, well, it ain’t gettin any safer.
Frank Grimes: I’m peeing on the seat! Give me a raise!
Apu: Silly man! You cannot hurt the Twinkie!
Homer: Mmmmmmm…free goo.
Mmmmmmmm…purple.
Mmmmmmmmm…something.
Frank Grimes: Look at him! He eats like a pig!
Lenny: Naw, pigs tend to chew. I’d say he eats more like a duck.
Homer: My ears are burning.
Marge: No, Homer, we weren’t talking about you.
Homer: No, I meant they’re really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-tip.
That’s all I’ll list. For now. God, I scare myself.