Dad is a jerk, he broke his promise.
Don’t sweat it. You’re a good man.
You are in a win/win situation.
You are fully justified in having no more to do with your father.
However, since he presumably means well, if you could find a way of allowing him in your life and that of his grandchildren - In controlled circumstances and under your terms - you would be fully justified in considering yourself the better man. A better man than most of us.
TCMF-2L
Being withdrawn and uncommunicative is indicative of depression. Given that you have had poor health recently this would be a very common reaction. Anger and moodiness is a common symptom of depression as well, especially in men. My suggestion is you try to see if you have depression and get treated for that. I would not make any life altering decisions until you get your mental health right.
Those we love are the way they are and not the way we want them to be.
Boy, that’s for true.
And you can say it to those I love about me, and be just as right.
Regards,
Shodan
That doesn’t mean that we’re obliged to accept them on their terms.
Right, but I think the point is that it’s wisest for us to accept that they’re not going to respond on our terms.
Skald, now that he’s shown that he cannot keep a confidence, the middle ground available to you is to keep him in your life, but don’t share anything with him that you don’t want revealed to the rest of the world. I have no way to know which is right for you in the overall context of your life; I’m just pointing out that you have another option besides a complete break.
… At which point, IMO, cutting them out of your life for your own well being may be the optimal course of action.
Obviously I don’t know who Skald’s work wife is, but in general terms a work wife/husband is a co-worker you share a space with and work with so closely that you might as well be married to them. Plus they tend to bicker like old married couples.
Religion aside, I get the feeling that this latest breach of trust is the latest in a lifelong string of them and the straw that broke the camel’s back. The most important thing is to concentrate on your health and your own family. Unwanted stressors are something you don’t need right now, so I don’t think you overreacted.
I’m not sure what to say here other than, “you know your business, Skald”.
I would just point out that it doesn’t have to be expressed as an absolute. You don’t have to say, “I’m cutting off contact with my father for all eternity.” You can say, “I’m too sick/tired/angry/previously engaged today for arguing with my dad.” You don’t have to set a future appointment for when you won’t be sick/tired/angry/previously engaged. You could play it by ear.
Similarly, you can play it by ear when it comes to talking about your medical problems. You can have it strictly on a ‘need to know basis’. Heck, I do that. My sister is my contact so I don’t have to deal with my mom’s hysterical personality.
Finally - I think there comes a point where some elderly persons stop being rational and revert more to toddler thinking. I don’t say that to be mean. They just lose their ability to process ideas and new information. They only see things in terms of their pre-formed experience. There’s just no percentage in arguing with people who have crossed that threshold. I have no idea if that applies here. But if it does, it’s not something to beat yourself up over. We’re mortals and we have a limited shelf life.
Take care of yourself, friend.
Here’s what worked for me. I started reading up on Buddhism and attended a few of their services, just enough to describe their method of worship and their core beliefs. Whenever my religious relatives would start with the Jesus thing, I’d talk about how Buddhism teaches reverence for all forms of life, even insects and so on. Get all self-righteous on me, and I’ll give you hippie dippie benevolent vibes. Nobody wants to encourage a bleeding heart.
My best friend. When we were account execs we had neighboring territories and worked together a lot. That was over a decade ago. Now we’re neighbors and very close. My wife has said that if my work wife were straight, the friendship would make her nervous.
You did not overreact, and I hope you’re not beating yourself up worrying about the possibility that you did. That kind of stress can’t be good for dealing with your physical health issues.
I also hope you’re not beating yourself up over having trusted him with the information in the first place. If you are, I give you permission to forgive yourself for the lapse in judgment. And if you can’t do that, or can’t do it yet, then I forgive you, 'k? You’ll get to where you need to be, wrt this decision. You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole, for many years. 
When I find the fucker who came up with the bullshit rule that you have to love family, even if you don’t like them, I’m going to kick them right in the nuts. Probably was some caveguy who was an asshole to his kids, come to think of it.
Anyway, no regrets, yeah?
Once they are old enough to seek out their grandfather’s company on their own, why would Skald want to punish them?