This is the situation my sister’s facing. The parents of her godson want her to offer him a brand new room (bed, closet, …) as a gift for turning 2 years old. And the cheapest one is €1500, about USD $2200, of course if she springs for more they’ll go with one of the nicer ones.
My sister is 22, she’s fresh out of college and makes about €600 a month. Naturally, they’re counting on our parents to chip in most of the money, as they seem to be doing alright. And I’m not saying they’re not, but… €1500?
I reeeeally don’t know what kind of gifts these folks are used to receiving, but in my family that’s the kind of money we would only give someone as a wedding gift. And it would be a stretch.
And the imposition of the thing… They showed my sister the pricier options first, until the €1500 one, and are expecting her (plus parents, of curse, but… thought continues next paragraph) to fully pay for it. Not help pay it, full pay for it.
My sister is the godmother, not my parents, though I doubt that makes much of a difference to these people… After all, they invited her for this role a mere 3 weeks after meeting her… and frankly, now I can see why. They met my parents some months before that.
The pressure they put us (my family) under. My sister would flat out reject this idea in a second, having been employed for only 4 months now. My parents are outraged, but can afford it so they’re no sure…
Right now they’re considering either giving half of it, or giving the full €1500 with the warning that they’re not to be expected to pay anything else ever again.
What Manduck said. I’ve never been a godparent to anyone, but I’d guess that the usual rules for gifts apply, i.e. you don’t go around asking for an outrageously extravagant gift unless your family are all millionaires.
I’d say get him some fancy sheets to match his new bedroom, which his parents will be paying for of course. ($2000 for a toddler?! Maybe as a wedding gift, as you said, or if he’s just starting out on his own, but that’s assuming you have the money to spare).
Jeez, $2200 for a new bedroom for someone who just graduated high school and will be staying home for college, maybe. But what two-year-old gives a flying crap about an expensive room?
My advice would be to say “I’m sorry, I simply can’t afford that. What else would the little guy like?” and keep saying that until the parents come up with a gift in a realistic price range.
Not belonging to a religion with godparents, I don’t exactly know how all that works. I thought it was a little deeper than “someone we can extort expensive stuff out of”.
Since when do God parents finance such big, expensive gifts?
That is both an unusual gift and an unusually expensive gift for a 2 y.o. (who likely won’t appreciate it very much).
I suspect the parents of the birthday boy are about the same age as the god mother. Perhaps, being young an inexperienced, they don’t realize that the request is inappropriate and inappropriately expensive.
I’m pretty sure the child would prefer a nice red bouncyball or tricycle to a bedroom suit. that is a gift to the parents.
The whole idea of godparents, at least in the Catholic church, is that if a child’s real parents are out of the picture for some reason (death, incapacitation, incarceration) the godparents are there to guide the child’s faith and morality.
Not so you can hit them up for all the fancy stuff you want but can’t afford.
Yeah, I’d tell 'em to get bent. They’d get what I gave them and like it. You don’t get to pick the gift I give you unless I ask you to. What these people expect is just plain rude.
Dang - the only gift I recall *ever * getting from my godmother was a gold roadrunner brooch. Even if she’d been inclined to give me a bedroom set, there wouldn’t have been space for one in the tiny place my folks lived when I was 2. Besides, my godmother had her own family to deal with.
I cannot believe the nerve of those people making such a demand. Your parents absolutely should not give in to them - it sets a dangerous and expensive precedent. Can’t wrap my head around this situation.
I would give what I wanted and could afford to give. Just ignore what the child’s parents are suggesting.
I have several godchildren and I’ve never spent anything like that on gifts. In any case, the gifts have been religious in nature. I wouldn’t consider a new set of bedroom furniture at all appropriate.
Fuck them. It’s highly inappropriate to demand a gift from anybody, let alone people you have such a tenuous connection to. It’s an exorbitant gift that the child will quickly outgrow and isn’t old enough to appreciate anyway. If your parents give the money now, no matter what they say, these greedy pigs will be back for more.
If I were your sister I’d offer to step down as godmother because clearly they had different expectations of what the position entailed. Perhaps suggest that the parents check the next candidate’s pay stubs and assets.
Your sister should give an age-specific religious themed gift; like a cd of religious children’s music, or a colorful wall hanging, or a glow in the dark statue (the best godparent gift I ever gave my 3 year old godchild was a glow-in-the-dark rosary – I doubt she has prayed any prayer on it, but I have been asked to replace it 4 times because it has been used so often). She should include a note to the parents of her godchild that she will provide small religious themed gifts in keeping with her role as godparent. This should rid the parents of any wild ideas of making your parents pay for gifts.
This defies every definition of “godparent” I’ve ever heard. Typically a godparent is a very close family friend who is willing to step in an assume some responsibility (either spiritual or otherwise) for raising the child should something happen to both birth parents. It’s a position that carries with it a serious duty and it should not be bestowed willy-nilly on random acquaintances.
I’m godmother to my niece (in the episcopal church), and that’s how it was explained to me.
Then I was told by my brother that they were picking godparents not for the church thing but instead to give each kid a special aunt/uncle/family friend they could use as a mentor while growing up. I was honored they’d chosen me. There was never any expectation of gifts–especially extravagant gifts!
$2200 for a 2 year old’s room? Screw that! The kid’s going to outgrow it or hate it in a few years. What else is she expected to do? Get the kid a pony when he’s 10? A car when he graduates?
I’m sorry dude, but that’s total bullshit. Your sister is not responsible for that kid, the parents are. She needs to have a serious talk with them about their entitlement issues.
I think they saw that your parents were well off and tried to think of a way to cash in. They picked making your sister a godparent, thinking they could manipulate her into getting your parents to pay for their idea of the good life. I am sorry if that is cynical, but that is how I read the situation.
My godfather did things like sneak me beers when I was underage, as did his own godfather before him. I’ve continued the tradition with my own godson, who is also my cousin.
About the only other gifty things I do are to send him a twenty on his birthday and a little gift a Christmas, usually a gift card or something. Maybe take him to a ball game once in a while (and sneak him beers.) Neither occasion would warrant individual gifts for any of the rest of my bazillion other cousins.