My godparents usually got me the usual religious themed stuff for gift giving occasions. Like blackrabbit’s godfather, mine would give me a beer at fifteen and my godmother usually gave me a shoulder to cry on when I was unhappy with my parents. They were there for first communion and confirmation, some school functions, etc.
I live a few hundred miles from my now grown godchildren. Not having been religious for the past several years, I still gave them small gifts for birthdays and holidays as well as a savings bond to help buy pizza and do laundry in college. I also was present for special occasions like the above, graduations and my godson’s wedding.
I’m wondering if there’s some tradition or something in Portugal whereby ‘godparent’ means something different to what it does in my part of the world. Here, a godparent is expected to perform a duty of care and spiritual stewardship toward the infant - not just if the parents expire - the godparent is just supposed to take an interest in the way the child is raised.
Unless there is indeed some long standing tradition that dictates the parents can just suck cash out of the godparents to indulge their consumerist whims, I’d say it’s time to break out the swear words for them.
Seconded. Most kids LOVE empty boxes. My sibs and I were lucky in that my father worked for a company that manufactured boxes, and so we had a plentiful supply throughout our childhoods. A two year old isn’t old enough to handle scissors, so Mom or Dad will have to cut out windows and doors, but a large empty box is far more interesting and entertaining than furniture for the child. Plus it encourages imaginative play, and many toys these days don’t.
Just a thought - is it possible that they’re not actually expecting the godparent to fork over the whole amount, but merely a small contributory part of it?
Thanks - I saw that, I was just clutching at the straw that this might perhaps only be a horrible misunderstanding, but I agree - it doesn’t sound like it.
Yesterday my sister phoned the mother of the toddler saying she (+ parents) would fork out the cash, and made it clear that this was a one time thing. This morning she received a text message from the mother saying something like “You weren’t very nice over the phone, I worked for what my kid currently has, christmas can be whenever we want. I don’t want your friendship for financial benefits. Let’s just forget the whole thing.”
So the gift is off the table, and so will be my sister who now has no desire to even show up at the kid’s birthday dinner.
I think it’s the same as everywhere else, the godparents are supposed to look after the kid if something happened to the real parents. The reason they gave was “to strengthen the bonds between our 2 families”, since they had liked us so much.
My guess is her well-off recently-divorced sister, realizing the stress this would put on the friendship, offered to pay it herself. But I’m just speculating.
I’m trying to understand the motives of the parents in making such an audacious and presumptuous request in the first place though - if the parents are millionaires or something, I could kind of understand how maybe they could unthinkingly ask someone else to splash out a couple of grand on a nice present for their kiddie, but it’s just so far removed from normality, I don’t know what to make of it.
When my neice was in 7th grade, two teachers she often babysat for redid her bedroom for her birthday. By redoing - they came over on a Saturday and painted her room and gave her a few accessories. Her mom bought her a new comforter. That was a darned spiffy present and cost far less than $2K.
I’ve been following this thread with a sort of fascinated wonder. I’ve never heard of such a bold request. I’m not exactly godmother to my niece and nephew (we don’t have that tradition in our family), but am their guardian should anything happen to their parents. You bet your boots I take a strong interest in their upbringing and well-being, and see them often, and love them dearly. I buy them books for Christmas, and don’t buy them anything for their birthdays, at their parents’ request. That’s pretty much the extent of it, materially. My gift to them is my love and interest and time, and that’s how their parents want it. It’s what I would want, too, for my children. Kids can actually do just fine sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag, but they need love and attention to thrive.
I’m glad that the gift is no longer an issue, but I am still struggling to wrap my mind around the text message from Momzilla. I worked for what my kid has? Whaa … ? So work for the bedroom furniture, too, if that’s your deal.
And does “forget the whole thing” mean the gift request, or the whole godmother thing? Either of which, by the way, would probably be a good thing.
I don’t really understand this message. “I worked for what my kid currently has, Christmas can be whenever we want”? Is the mother saying if the kid doesn’t get a $2200 bedroom set, then there’s nothing for Christmas?
Maybe they meant “stocks and bonds”? Wow, this whole thing is weird but it reminds me of a family I hung out with who were having a new baby. “You can be her godmother!” Well, to me that has a lot of religious significance, but they weren’t raising her in any church and “godmother” I guess just meant “significant adult”. I did give her the usual baby gifts but it was weird to take a role that is very serious and make it so casual.
I’m not sure, I asked my sister what she meant but she doesn’t want to dedicate another thought to the subject. I reckon it’s in response to something she had said yesterday during the phone conversation.
