Have we truly become such a “I want it now!” society that we can’t even take the trouble to buy a girl a drink??
I get that without experience, it is difficult to know what to do, but good lord…Go to a TGIFriday’s (or other chain of your choice) on Friday between 4 & 7 pm. Sit at the bar. Dress nicely, do not drink to excess, and do not smoke. Pick a corner chair if possible (thus giving you two directions of view). Wait and watch.
Soon, women in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s will come in and start their usual Friday cocktail bitch-fest about work. Wait and watch.
Soon many of those women will leave to get home to their husbands/boyfriends/whatever. Wait and watch.
By 7pm, a large percentage of the women left will be the ones who have nothing to do, and have had a bit too much to drink. Start talking to them. Make a casual comment about something on TV. The drunk guy at the bar. Snark on another woman’s appearance (These women love that one). Then resume watching the TV while you sip your drink. Soon, she will make a comment back, and conversation begins.
By 10pm you are helping her fumble with the keys in her house door, and by 11 you are helping her fumble with your zipper.
Quite simple really, and I can attest (before I was married) that this will work anywhere across the fruited plain. Granted, as this is your first experience, it may take you a few Friday evenings out before you get the hang of it.
If you can’t even take the time to do that, well, there isn’t much chance of you getting laid anytime soon- with or without Craigslist- because, as stated before, craigslist is only going to get you to the meeting of a person. She isn’t going to respond to your email, and then immediately march over to your home, walk in and strip down. Women are not wired that way.
Well, that’s where you messed up, son, you can’t go to no bar to find a nice woman. You gotta go to a nice place, a quiet place like a library, there’s good women there and 'erm, church, they’re good girls.
Caveat. Some women are, and I’ve had better luck with finding them in their native habitat than trying to figure out who’s available at a bar. Of course, I’m basing my experiences on a college town, so the proportion of women looking for hookups/dates in normal bars was lower vs. the proportion of them going to, say, frat parties.
Exactly what I was going to say. OKCupid is free, and a fun site to fart around on even when you’re not looking to hook up. AdultFriendFinder requires money if you want to be able to message people (free accounts can just view profiles), but it’s specifically geared toward people who just want to get laid. I’ve run into scammers from time to time on both sites, but the ratio of real people vs scammers is much MUCH better than Craigslist.
The method Spit describes is pretty sound, but I think its worth cautioning you that losing your virginity on a one-night-stand might not be the best way to go about it. You’ll understandably be nervous and while I doubt the woman will laugh in your face if you do/say something stupid, a more forgiving audience is the way to go.
My suggestion is to meet a girl at school/work/library/coffee shop/wherever first and get a relationship going. Its not like it will take a long time (girls like sex too, ya’ know!), and when the time comes, she’ll be a lot more understanding and patient. Even more importantly, while sex is pretty fun regardless, doing it with someone you care about is that much more fun.
This. This is perfect. Great chance to get some social practice in too, and the better you get the better your chances of eating that taco you famished OP.
ETA (too late): Blaron, this is why modern schools should teach something like “cotillion.” We were middle-school morons, but we learned how to approach a young lady and express our desire to dance with her. Nothing more, though more was in the back of our heads. Take it from me, an old, fat fuck: Women, for the most part, feel the psychological part first and last. Learn to not be the tool you, and all guys, are and become a friend of some women. This can lead to some situations Penthouse Forum can’t imagine.
Or you could just pay for it. Which it seems to be what you are objecting to in the OP.
Edited to add, WAY too late (Women, please ignore this post): Blalron, have you ALWAYS been this big a loser? Cuz, IRL, NO GUY would admit to it, especially in front of people who (formerly) liked and respected you. There are ways to ask dating advice while disguising your name: Try another board or understand that the mods would object, but they cannot, or probably WILL not, trace another Yahoo email address when you create a new account to ask a couple questions. (Tip to all who would pretend to be me: You are using too few commas, semicolons, colons, and capitalizations.)
Actually, yes, we do. And we suspend or ban people for it. And it’s not like we actually trace the Yahoo address. We track down by other means, means that I cannot speak of.
I think trying to meet girls at D&D games is a poor strategy due to the supply and demand issues. Since geek chicks are less common than geek males, any given geek chick who is socially active and open to dating will have lots of male suitors and it might be hard to get her attention.
However, I also am concerned that Craigslist sex ads are not the best strategy either.
I have to admit I don’t think there are a lot of normal, healthy women who would be trolling Craigslist for sex, while I CAN picture some people with nefarious motives using it. For example, I can imagine someone posing as a woman looking for sex in order to rob a guy (by getting him in a private situation where he thinks he’ll get sex, but then having an accomplice with a gun hiding out nearby or something like that). It’s also possible a hooker would use the pretense of meeting up for free sex to get a client.
If a woman was on there sincerely looking for totally random hookups, I’d be concerned that she could be a petri dish for diseases. Or that something else was majorly wrong…it’s just too easy for normal women to get sex just by hanging out in bars and such, for me to think there are many normal women who just want to get laid hanging out on craigslist. I really think that trying normal online dating on a site like okcupid is the safer way to go about this. It might take some more time and I can imagine you may have felt discouraged by that incident you posted about where you were stood up, but I think in the long run that method would serve you the best.
Means that are not traced because of the most chaste kiss on your cheek? Because I’m FAR more technologically advanced that that (or just too lazy, but inclined to place a false spoor).
FTR, it has always been too much effort for me. Those whom I advise? Screw ‘em! If they are so stupid as to take advice from me, they deserve what’ coming to them.
(Here’s another clue for you all: Having SDSAB after my name INCREASES, not decreases, the likelihood I will do you wrong.
Er, that only applies to posts for which I did not actually perform the amount of research and thought that befits a report by the SDSAB. It is only limited to the snark I spread elsewhere. This is because my own reports, and those of others, are researched to an extent that equals, if not exceeds, that deserving of the post. Which is more than any member of the SDSAB gets on the regular boards. We do more research than anybody on Wikipedia, for instance.
Lol, they use the TOP SEKRET method of checking IP addresses. But you didn’t hear it from me.
Anyway:
Yawn. I’m sorry you are married to one of these people and that you are SOoooooOO offended on her behalf.
But your type B describes about 90% of gamer chicks (And your type A goes to an anime group – putting her soldily in type B). The worst ones, IMO, are the ones who are typical nerds and get into those sickeningly sweet clingy relationships, while telling everyone how sexually daring and progressive they are, and standing up against the evils of conformist sorority slut cheerleaders who probably have eating disorders and/or VD or both, because they are not slightly chubby and plain like the nrrdgrrls usually are. Then they proceed to go to their vampire LARP session, where they try and be as close to the center of attention as possible and roleplaying the bog-standard vampyre (with a Y) princess who is amazingly beautiful and heroic and only bad enough to show that she’s formidable. They will then return home to their de rigueur nerd hobby like falconry or period costuming or homemade B&D gear or precious moments figurines.
The problem is that female nerd types of the gamer persuasion have the magical power of pussy and they know it, and being around nerdy types like the OP all the time have come to expect that this attention to their every move is due them naturally, and woe to He Who Does Not Fawn.
So, let me just cut off the furious post that you are now typing with enough force to splinter your keys into little shards of thermoplastic. Yes, I’m making a broad generalization. Yes, I am calling out nerd-dom (and yes, I know that this includes at least half of the posters to the straight dope). Yes, I am probably an antisocial 17 year old who has never gotten laid who lives in mommy’s basement (except I’m not, but I’m saving you the trouble). Yes, I am not being sensitive to the poor gamer chicks and that makes me a giant prick. Yes, I was at some time dumped/hurt/wronged by a nerd girl. Yes, I am a bitter husk doomed to wander the earth friendless and alone. Woe is me.
But let me say this to the OP: There are two paths you can go down, but in the long run, it’s not to late to change the road you are on.
You can meet some nice gamer lass at the D&D game, hook up, and get REALLY involved and probably married and have a nice Klingon wedding, grow your hair out, join the SCA, and embark on your life collecting homemade medieval weapons together.
Or not. Get some friends to help you meet a girl, go to the bar, grow a set, pay for a hooker and quit making such a big deal of it. Either way, I don’t care.
Anyway, no matter how many times you use the word ass in a sentence, you know I’m on to something because it stings. I know, I know, how dare I not smile and nod and join in the group hug? Well, I call em as I see em, and I’m trying to do my part to prevent a poor, horny young man from clinging for dear life to the first girl he meets as his drow paladin casts detect magic on her beautiful, heroic, and slightly naughty elf princess ranger.
I’m not here to validate your life choices, nor are you here to validate mine. We’re not in a mutual cheerleading society. If I’m an asshole because I don’t like the vast majority of girls who play D&D, so be it. You probably hate Republicans and Fundies, and are proud of it. So I guess in the end we’re not so different, you and I.
ETA: And many of them [del]“pull it out of their asses”[/del] are less stringent than we. And that is because of you, who will see through the cracks and call ups on it. Cecil has trained his multitudinous minions well.
ITT: people checking IPs of posters is made to sound mysterious. If hypothetically OP takes dropezone’s advice best to use a proxy or a computer on a different internet connection.
